Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The USA (01/08/09)
-
TITLE: Highway Curves and Car Sickness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Bryan Ridenour
01/12/09 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
“Where are we Morris?” his wife moaned from the passenger seat. She shifted forward and began to dig furiously through the glove compartment for a map. When her husband ignored the question, she asked again, “Morris, where are we? And don’t tell me somewhere in southwest Missouruh.”
Harold glanced at his wife’s desperate attempt to unfold the map and then turned his attention to the winding road that lay ahead. He remembered spying a sign, Highway K, a few miles back and knew this road was the scenic route to Pea Ridge, Arkansas. However, he was not aware that civilization would be almost impossible to find on this passage. He quietly second guessed a decision to refuse his son’s offer of borrowing his GPS.
His wife’s moan and sudden lurching for the door handle interrupted his thoughts. “Honey, hold on ‘til I get stopped.” Ernestine opened the door and expelled her lunch. Fortunately, this was a sparsely traveled road and she took a little time to insure that she could continue on her trek. The door slammed shut and Morris realized that his wife’s color wavered between asparagus and moss green. He gently reached to comfort his wife of thirty years.
“Don’t touch me,” she seethed, crossing her arms across her chest.
“What?” he spouted, jerking his hand to the steering wheel.
“Morris, I wouldn’t be sick if we didn’t have to go to this Civil War re-enactment. Let me remind you, the Union wins! The South ain't goin’ to surprise you this time!”
Relief spread across Morris’ face as an intersection with a service station appeared as a blessed mirage in the desert. He pulled the car into a vacant space and turned off the ignition. “Ernestine, I’m do’in somethin’ that I love. Besides, we’ve been able to see a lot of these here United States that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise.”
As she plucked out a tissue from the box resting on the console, he saw her features soften. “I’m sorry Morris. I’m just havin’ a very bad day and I can’t think of another time in my life that I’ve felt so mis’rable. This didn’ even happen to me on the roller coaster at Silver Dollar City.”
This time he grabbed her hand and she offered no resistance. “I’ll tell you what, next summer instead of going to Pea Ridge again, we’ll go anywhere in America you wanna go.”
She mustered a smile. “I’m game for anywhere, as long as we don’t have to take this Highway K. Deal?”
“Deal,” he nodded.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
I loved the story, but thought that the end fizzled a bit. No big deal--it's a great entry.
Pet peeve: The correct use of the phrase is "couldn't care less." No big deal though, many people use that incorrectly.
The dialogue and descriptions are very good. I agree with other posts, you'll be moving up soon.
I agree that I was waiting for the punch line -- that the wife was pregnant or some other life changing event.
Very descriptive and entertaining reading, though!
I agree, you have enough room to make a point here or add a punchline to your story. Great dialogue; try to show, more than tell with your descriptions. I did like the phrase "stomach churning curves". A few more great lines like that and your writing will be stellar.
Nicely done!