The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 599 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/18/08
I love the sci-fi/virtual reality feel, especially where the game can read thought-actions. I had to smile when Ricky requested that Bob not talk so much. :) Then the addition of the baby to the car because of Ricky's thoughts was superb. Your ending is excellent with his eagerness to pick up his paycheck, then finding out he flipped burgers for his job. I totally enjoyed this!!
09/19/08
I love this. So very funny. And what a thought - to be able to really enter a board game. Oh my! And with the fun is real life disappointments. Great job!
09/21/08
I LOVE this! It's very well written and drew me right in. Well done!
09/21/08
I LOVE this! Can I use it in my high school class, please? Send me a PM if you wouldn't mind.
09/22/08
Great story with clever concept - has me hoping the experience has made a difference in the way he thinks.
09/24/08
Wowzer, clever and creative just don't go far enough to describe how magnificent this is. Wowzer.
09/24/08
Wow--if only this could be real for school! What an impact that might have, right? Nothing like seeing yourself in your own future to get a person to THINK!
09/24/08
This is a wonderful piece....I wanted to keep reading more! Great job, and excellent writing!
09/24/08
This was so cool...very well written. What a great message weaved in with awesome writing! Loved it!
This is really good. I love the use of the virtual reality game. If only every teenager had one to play. I hope the mc learned from the game. Very well written. Great job :-)
Very cool story. I could picture Ricky perfectly based on your descriptions.

I just wish you had more words to work with, because I would have liked to see the game last longer. It would have been cool to see how his life would progress years down the road because of his decisions.

Thank you so much for sharing this! Congrats on the highly commended honor. :)