The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/29/07
EXCELLENT! A perfect picture of how the body of Christ is gifted to complete His mission here on earth.
Marvelous illustration of how it's all supposed to work together. Interesting all the way through, sure kept my attention. Great story, great writing!
Personifying the gifts was an excellent and creative approach to this topic. Having been under a pastor strong on evangelism I had to chuckle at Evan's and Adam's heavy leanings. Sort of like my kids music teachers in school who felt basically theirs was the only class that counted. :)
12/03/07
You nailed the topic straight on. Entertaining and excellently presented; as always. God bless.
12/03/07
This was superb! You covered lots of ground in few words!
Laury
I like your characters and could picture them all.
This was a fun read. Well done.
12/03/07
Well, your entry gave me a very clear picture of how the body of Christ should work; everyone using and sharing their gifts to further the Kingdom! This story is really good and entertaining, as well.
12/03/07
Very fun and creative with excellent pace and flow. Great job! :)
Don't sell yourself short. I liked your direct, yet novel approach.
12/04/07
Great entry! Love the characters! This was fun to read.
12/04/07
That looks like how it should be done
12/04/07
An allegory! This was an interesting way to show how a church combines the different gifts and works together. Well done!
12/04/07
Beautiful depiction of the Body of Christ at work. I loved it.
12/04/07
Ok, this one 'takes the cake'!! I LOVED it--each personality was right on, the names matched (the allitteration greatly helped keeping them all straight!) and the way they interacted was smooth and seamless. This is my favorite this week. Hugs!
12/04/07
What a terrific illustration of how each gift works together! Loved it.
12/04/07
Creative and thought-provoking (and not silly). I love how they acted EXACTLY as they "should" for their gift. Good stuff.
12/04/07
Cute! My favorite guy is Adam, because he's just like me: the thought of going into ANYTHING without a plan gives me great anxiety.
I enjoyed your story and liked how you showed, not only the necessity of using ones gift, but also the importance of combining it with others in the body.
12/04/07
I really like the fact that this piece gets read all the way through before the reader realizes it was so deep. I loved it.
This was brilliant. You made the charactors so real. Well done.
I agree! Wonderful! I encourage you to accept that fact that you have a wonderful gift in your writing.
Excellent job of showing how each of us are given talents and they work together. The title is perfect.
12/05/07
I may be echoing others before me, but "Cute" doesn't do this nifty piece justice! It's absolutely adorable! I love the nameplay and especially the end "It was a group effort" Great job with the different characterization.
12/05/07
Kristen, how do you expect me to use a Red Pen on this one! I'm going to have to squint my eyes and go back and look closer ... okay, here's a start ... it almost seemed as though their responses to Evan were presented as the wrong thing to do. It kind of reminded me of the "Not I" said the pig" story.

Here's an example, 'Pauline Prayer said nothing. She just bowed her head and started praying.' The word 'just' implicates something negative to me.

This story is pure genius as is and I have no clue how you could go back to do subtle tweaks and still maintain the "Whole body working together" message.

This whole story is masterfully put together. A pleasure to read.


Okay, I went back over this and I am having trouble finding anything I didn't like about it. I think the only thing I might change would be how the group interacted in the beginning. It seemed a little stiff (maybe?). I even hesitate to say that much. It could be that I am just not used to communicating in this fashion. I am a farm gal after all, and haven't lived in any city for decades. lol :)
12/05/07
To start with, I stand by my earlier comments. But, I am a picky writer and can be a lil picky when asked to pick:)
Overall, the entry seemed a lil rushed, like it didn't command or hold your entire attention. Your opening was somewhat weak, didn't hook me, was a lil confusing and didn't flow with your usual ease. After the opening it would have been hard to keep reading if I didn't know who the author was. I knew it would turn into a creative gem, which it did. You also get high points for having a creative concept.
But most importantly, your story needed to have been entered this week. It had an important message. And the overall collection of work this week, would not have been complete without it. You're one of my favs and I always look forward to your entries. I wish I could write as smoothly as you do, but I have to work with what I have.
Great job, Kristen. God bless.
12/06/07
Oh, I LOVE this! One of your best, Kristen. So wonderfully creative and unique. A true masterpiece. A well-deserved placing - you're on a roll, girl!
12/06/07
Congratulations on your EC. This is my favorite line:

"'Without a plan?' Adam wanted to know."

I think that's what stops me many times. I'm so busy trying to make the plan, that I miss the opportunity.

I really like the way you show how each of us have different gifts, and they all work together to further God's kingdom. Great job.
12/06/07
Hi Kristen
Congrats on your EC win! And as you asked for them, here's some 'red pen' comments. I found this article to contain an excellent and important message that the gifts function best when combined through group efforts. They compliment one another. However, I found that the characters' names broke the story's flow. It was evident what their gifts were by the actions they were performing, they did not need their gift to be part of their name as well. Loved the conclusion.
12/08/07
Good job! Just had time to read a few entries today. I agree with ALL of the previous commenters except everyone keeps saying "gifts". Your piece described service not gifts and I think that was exactly what you were trying to say. The challenge was spiritual gifts or service, I took it to mean either/or. You have a gift to write you are called to a service, n'est ce pas? You could live most of your life and not know you were called to a service. But you pretty much know early on if you have a gift for singing, writing etc. But I like you and I know you are going to be blessed in the gift God gave you. :)