The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/13/07
I love the repetition. You paint vivid word pictures. Enjoyed this very much.
12/16/07
Oh yes, this is my prayer as well ... bring back the true church where God is truly worshipped and praised! Very good use of descriptive words; the meter wasn't as tight as it could have been, but it flowed fairly well. With some tweeking, a rewrite would make a good poem into an excellent one. Good job! Christmas blessings! :)
The imagery in this piece is wonderful. I can tell real feeling was put into this. Good job.
12/17/07
Sad commentary on the state of this one particular church! Well-written poem, maybe just a few tweaks in meter might be needed.

I really like the last stanza.
12/18/07
Agree with all prior comments, and give you a high five for this good poem. Vivid thought progression, sad comment without didacticism. Good...with polish, very good.
12/19/07
Lovely sentiments, beautiful poetry. The meter is a bit off in places, but I enjoyed this very very much. Love the MC being the church building itself. Creative!
Yes, indeed for simpler, more authentic days. You have done a wonderful job of showing the anguish that can be found within a church of God where carnal man dukes it out with God's spiritual purpose.
12/19/07
wow. This is very thought-provoking. The third verse really hits close. great job.
12/19/07
The last stanza is brilliant! Wonderful poetry :)
Congrats, very well thought out!
Oh, how sad! I hope this is not based on personal experience :( You expressed yourself well and made us feel it. Congratulations on 3rd place!
Had a feeling this was going to be a winner. Congratulations and do you move up a level now? Loren
12/20/07
Naye, didn't realize this was you! Congratulations! You're moving on up now! Welcome to level 3!!!!
Laury
12/20/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place. Very good poem -- nice job with the topic.
12/21/07
Beautiful poem, Naye, with such a bittersweet message. I love the descriptions of the early church especially; very sentimental and sweet. Congratulations!
Lovely imagery and you told the whole story in six stanzas. The commentary is sad and yet, we need to hear in order to improve. Congratulations on your 3rd place!
12/30/07
I'm confused, when did the "church" become the building? If the building had a "spirit" residing in it I would hope it was not the "Holy Spirit", which should be residing in each of us, "the church."