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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)

TITLE: This Church Was Built
By LaNaye Perkins
12/09/07


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I started out so long ago, with logs hewn out by hand.
Clay was gently packed between, with love by Godly men.
People gathered within my walls on Godís appointed day.
In one mind and accord they worshiped, sang, and praised.

Decades passed, my walls grew weak and needed much repair.
I was given brand new life by workers paid a fare.
People gathered within my walls on Godís appointed day.
Several minds and much discord they gossiped, sang, and played.

Repairs complete, my walls pristine and furnished with pricey decor.
Members argue over color and style, several go out the doors.
Still some gather within my walls on Godís appointed day.
The majority now has one accord, but God has been betrayed.

Alas my life in this sad time, no longer like early days.
God does not linger here, the people have turned away.
Their ears are tickled by a man, who only wants their praise.
His salary is his main concern, and of course, the yearly raise.

But I yearn for the days of old, when men and women bowed.
When the Spirit of my God was welcomed and allowed.
They gathered all together here, on Godís appointed day.
In one mind and one accord they worshipped, sang, and praised.

No more this whited sepulcher only filled with dead menís bones.
I want the Spirit once more alive, and God back on the throne.
I want fellowship true and sweet, with His Spirit filling my beams.
I just want to be a church, where God can reign supreme.


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This article has been read 825 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 12/13/07
I love the repetition. You paint vivid word pictures. Enjoyed this very much.
Jan Ross12/16/07
Oh yes, this is my prayer as well ... bring back the true church where God is truly worshipped and praised! Very good use of descriptive words; the meter wasn't as tight as it could have been, but it flowed fairly well. With some tweeking, a rewrite would make a good poem into an excellent one. Good job! Christmas blessings! :)
Betty Castleberry12/16/07
The imagery in this piece is wonderful. I can tell real feeling was put into this. Good job.
Jan Ackerson 12/17/07
Sad commentary on the state of this one particular church! Well-written poem, maybe just a few tweaks in meter might be needed.

I really like the last stanza.
JoAnne Potter12/18/07
Agree with all prior comments, and give you a high five for this good poem. Vivid thought progression, sad comment without didacticism. Good...with polish, very good.
Catrina Bradley 12/19/07
Lovely sentiments, beautiful poetry. The meter is a bit off in places, but I enjoyed this very very much. Love the MC being the church building itself. Creative!
Loren T. Lowery12/19/07
Yes, indeed for simpler, more authentic days. You have done a wonderful job of showing the anguish that can be found within a church of God where carnal man dukes it out with God's spiritual purpose.
Sara Harricharan 12/19/07
wow. This is very thought-provoking. The third verse really hits close. great job.
Paula Titus 12/19/07
The last stanza is brilliant! Wonderful poetry :)
Debbie Wistrom12/20/07
Congrats, very well thought out!
Ann Renae Hair12/20/07
Oh, how sad! I hope this is not based on personal experience :( You expressed yourself well and made us feel it. Congratulations on 3rd place!
Loren T. Lowery12/20/07
Had a feeling this was going to be a winner. Congratulations and do you move up a level now? Loren
Laury Hubrich 12/20/07
Naye, didn't realize this was you! Congratulations! You're moving on up now! Welcome to level 3!!!!
Laury
Sheri Gordon12/20/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place. Very good poem -- nice job with the topic.
Dee Yoder 12/21/07
Beautiful poem, Naye, with such a bittersweet message. I love the descriptions of the early church especially; very sentimental and sweet. Congratulations!
Therese Witkus12/22/07
Lovely imagery and you told the whole story in six stanzas. The commentary is sad and yet, we need to hear in order to improve. Congratulations on your 3rd place!
c clemons12/30/07
I'm confused, when did the "church" become the building? If the building had a "spirit" residing in it I would hope it was not the "Holy Spirit", which should be residing in each of us, "the church."