Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Sibling(s) (05/01/08)

TITLE: Fifteen Minutes Behind
By Loren T. Lowery
05/06/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

For reason that will become clear, my twin brother and I sit on our inherited porch with its blue painted ceiling. Turquoise, I think they call it. We sat there, as one, under the ceiling we had painted together twenty years ago when we were nine.

A full moon brushes the eastern hay fields, its yellow light making goblins of the growing shadowed crops. With soft murmurs from inside the house, we are content in our silence together. And, with crickets serenading on the lawn I am drawn back to the day we painted the ceiling above us.

“I’m giving my life to Jesus tomorrow,” I tell my brother as I dip my brush into the cool colored paint. It smells of lime. I scratch my nose and blue streaks race across my sunburned cheeks.

He looks down from the ladder. “You ain’t old enough to do no such thing, Luke. Mama know about this?”

Kirk is fifteen minutes older than me. My life to that point had been a futile attempt to catch up to that quarter hour difference. To be where he was and see things from his older, wiser eyes. Yet whenever I did, he was still fifteen minutes ahead.

“I told her this morning. She called the preacher so he’d be ready. She seemed proud. She even cried.”

“Ma cries at the drop of a hat, like when Pa said she could paint this ceiling. Why do you think she wants it blue?”

“Said because it reminds her of the sky.”

Plain foolish, like you wanting to give your life to Jesus. If she wants to see the sky, all she has to do is step off the porch and look up. And Jesus, he’s always there, too.”

“Skies not always, blue,” I respond. “Sometimes there’s clouds and sometimes it’s black, like at night.”

He seemed to consider this and said, “Maybe.”

I laid down my brush. “Why do you think giving my life to Jesus is foolish?”

“Don’t know. But we were christened when we were babies. No need repeating it.”

I look up at him. “But we didn’t have no say. Like Ma dressing us when we were little. Now I want to do it myself.” I hesitated at my next words and barely breathed them. “And to say I’m sorry for my sins.”

Kirk laughed so hard the ladder rocked. “Sins? Why you aint hardly old enough to have sinned.”

My face flamed as my transgressions paraded across my mind. Dirty jokes I had heard, but yet understood. Pictures of naked ladies in girlie magazines brought to school by older boys. Smoking grapevines behind the barn.

“I have.” I swallowed hard. “Same as you.” My voice was a whisper.

“Where’d you get this fool notion anyway?”

“At church, listening to Revered Thompson preach.”

He sighed. “You got a soft heart, like a sissy. You want people thinking that about you, being a sissy?” There was disdain in his voice.

“Lotta people died for believing. It’s in the Bible.”

“Yeah, well I think that’s just a bunch of made up stories to make sissies like you look foolish.”

I balled my fist. “Quit saying that. I’m no sissy. I can lick you as good as anyone.”

He came down from the ladder and looked me straight in the eyes. “We’ve always done things together, but this is not a man thing you’re talking about. It’s for girls. Why do you think it’s always Ma going to church and not Pa?”

I couldn’t answer and only said, “‘Cause he never asked Jesus into his life either, just like you.”

He threw down his brush, a blue constellation splattered across my bare feet. “And I ain’t doing this, not tomorrow, not ever.” His eyes never left mine, as if searching. “Painting can wait, I’m going fishing.” He walked away. “You coming or not?”

I watched him leave, down the road. “God’s not out there by no fishing hole.” I yelled. “He’s at church waiting for you.”

His answer is an unfriendly salute.

The screen door squeaked opened behind us, pulling my thoughts back to the moment. “Reverend?” a voice states. “Everything’s in order. All we need is your brother’s signature to sign this home over to the church as your parsonage.”

“Guess I was wrong,” I tell my brother. “God was at that fishing hole; wasn’t he?”

“Close as this blue ceiling above us.”

I sign the papers. Fifteen minutes wiser, yet still fifteen minuets behind.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 937 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 05/09/08
Wonderful job with the setting and characterization. The dialog all seemed so natural. Enjoyed this piece very much.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/10/08
This excellent story has a warmth that drew me in.
Deborah Engle 05/14/08
The conversation seemed exactly right. The story was heart-touching. Nice job.
RuthAnn Cornelson 05/14/08
Hmmmm. Interesting. God was at the fishing hole, yet now the boy tells people about God in the church. Was God in both places - of course. This story makes me want to get to the bottom of it, something you'd talk about over dinner. Good job. Thanks
Debbie Wistrom05/14/08
You brought so much to this story, I loved every word.
Especailly how you wrote about the constellation of splattered paint on his bare feet, I could see it!
Jan Ackerson 05/14/08
Beautiful all the way through, and I really, really love your last line.
Sara Harricharan 05/14/08
Hmmm, lots going on here! I liked the interaction between the two brothers, it was very real and especially the 15 minute thing that repeated all the way to the end. I suspect there is more to the story though, it feels like there's more. Good job! ^_^
Mariane Holbrook05/14/08
You did such a good job with this. If you don't place high, I'll be very, very surprised! Kudos!
Joy Faire Stewart05/14/08
There is so much I enjoyed about this story...the twins interaction, the 15 min. theme, vivid descripions and the message. I guess I could say, I love it all!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge05/14/08
Wonderful story with so much emotion and truth weaved together. Did I read this too quickly, or did the word 'reason' in the first sentence need an 's', and maybe an opening quotation mark was missing. Now that I've read it, the only thing I am sure of is the excellent message.
Betty Castleberry05/14/08
I love the voice and the homey feel of this piece. I'm glad both twins found Jesus, too. Excellent writing.