Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Taste (07/15/10)
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TITLE: Small Sips | Previous Challenge Entry
By Christina Banks
07/22/10 -
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Mary nodded. “Lots of people here tonight.” She said. “Plenty of drinks to go around.”
“This is the first block party that I’ve been to.” Hilary wiggled her wings in anticipation.
“Well, let me show you around and introduce you to some of my friends.” Hilary followed as Mary flew under a table, where several others were already enjoying themselves.
“See that group over there?” Mary pointed one of her legs at a group of males hovering in the center.
Hilary giggled and waved a slim limb in their direction.
“Stay away from them.”
“Why?” Hilary asked, looking back to her host.
“Cause, they’ll get you killed.” Mary said with disgust. “This is your first party ever, isn’t it?”
“I wasn’t hatched just yesterday.” Hilary said, indignantly. “It just happened that it’s rained for the last four days in a row. There weren’t many people out, if you know what I mean.”
“Well, listen up, because I want to tell you the secret to these gatherings. Just go around and sip. Don’t get greedy and drink deeply. I know what happens when you let that kind of thing happen. You can’t think of anything else but the taste, and soon all your senses are numbed with your imbibing. You’ll lose your head, and possibly your life. Small sips are all you need. Trust me on this.”
Hilary nodded eagerly. “Can we get something to drink now?”
“Alright, just remember what I told you. I don’t want to see something bad happen to you on your first night out.”
Hilary waved away Mary’s concern and landed on a nearby leg. The salty perspiration drew her to drink deeply, but remembering the warnings she sipped only a tiny bit of the warm liquid. It was everything that she had imagined it would be – warm, salty and a little metallic. Hilary sighed with contentment.
Flying to the next piece of exposed skin, she sampled. Over and over again she took small sips. Each one tasted different. Some were too salty, some too sweet, others had some odor that forced Hilary to stay away. She enjoyed the bouquet of flavors.
The next flesh was soft and sweet. The taste was different than the others - foreign almost exotic. She called Mary over from where she was enjoying her own draws.
“You have to taste this one!”
Hilary watched her friend pierce the skin and take a small swallow. Mary nodded in appreciation. “You have good taste, my friend. A fine specimen indeed!”
Hilary puffed out her thorax as Mary flew away. The group of males came closer when they heard Mary’s comment.
“You found a good drink?” One of them asked.
“A really nice one.” Hilary bragged. “You want to try some?”
The guys started laughing and clapping each other on the back.
“What’s so funny?”
“Only girls drink that stuff!”
“Your loss.” Hilary said
“If it’s such a fine drink, why aren’t you getting your fill?” One male questioned.
“I might have some more.”
“Why don’t you take some right now?”
“Maybe I will.” Hilary sipped, enjoying the warm tingle.
“Chug! Chug! Chug!” the boys chanted.
Hilary obliged. Soon all she could think about was filling up on the delicious beverage. She savored each drop, willing her body to take in more. It was a heady sensation, which ended all too soon.
~*~*~*~
“Got it!” The girl whipped her hand on the napkin. “Nasty bug!” She looked in dismay at the smear of blood across her tan leg.
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A common writing tip is to not begin a piece with dialogue, yet you did it, and it worked brilliantly. I fell into the story immediately.
I loved the prose, the theme, the character and emotion.
It was a very important lesson, told in a very amusing story.
Loved, loved, loved it.
Great imagination and great message.
I knew they were mosquitoes pretty quickly, but still enjoyed it.
LOVED the line about them being "girl drinks." :)