Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)
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TITLE: Enter In and See! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Linda Watson Owen
03/06/06 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Enter in, My Child!
Enter the Glory of True Life with Me!
Enter!
Enter in and see!
Amazing Wonders in My Spirit’s Power!
Look now, dear Child.
You hold the Key!
You hold the Answer to a Life that’s Free!
Enter!
Enter in, My Child,
So much depends on your Faith placed in Me!
And can you take the step that moves toward
the entrance to the Life I’ve made you for?
Will you come bravely letting loose the rail
of earthly sureties and pleasures pale?
Come Child!
Come enter here!
You know so little of what lies ahead.
Ungrasp the comfort of familiar seas!
Now take My Hand.
Come Child, and go with Me!
First steps are slow.
You take them with much care,
but I AM here to guide you safely on.
Though you may stumble, you must never fear,
for I AM He Who knows and covers all!
Lift!
Lift your face and see!
The Way, the Truth, the Opened Glorious Door!
Enter!
Enter in!
And know the Reason for which you were born!
Lay aside the weights of worldly wares.
Step inside the very Heart of Me!
I transform and make all old things New!
Enter!
Enter in and See!
Enter, Child, and Live My Plan for you!
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Ungrasp the comfort of familiar seas!
Now take My Hand.
Come Child, and go with Me!
Though you may stumble, you must never fear,
for I AM He Who knows and covers all!
My fav - Lay aside the weights of worldly wares.
Step inside the very Heart of Me!
Beautiful and glorious!
Favorite line;
"Will you come bravely letting loose the rail
of earthly sureties and pleasures pale?"
There is such and anointing on your poetry. I loved it!
Kate~
However, I found one phrase awkward. "And can you take the step that moves toward/the entrance to the Life I've made you for?" While the question is very worthy to ask, I stumbled over the phrasing of the question as a reader.
I also found your form erratic between pattern and no pattern. It is acceptable to have a pattern, have a few free verse stanzas and then end in the original pattern, but you started the pattern, deviated, went back to it, deviated and then ended in it. I may just be a stick in the mud about this stuff. I just find poems which are properly structured are more powerful and less distracting.
Keep working with this poem because it is so beautiful in concept and you have some phrases I would hate to see lost.