The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/06/06
How powerful and yet so welcoming, inviting. Your words are assuring and communicate hope. Absolutely wonderful poem.
Pretty good work, and inspiring.
03/08/06
What a poem of promise :) Well done :)
03/10/06
I love your alliteration: pleasures pale--weights of worldly wares--such a poetic gift you have, always choosing exactly the right word. Lovely!
03/10/06
Marvellous, uplifting, loving, joyful. Good job.
03/11/06
Very nice poem... very nice point. You've done a good piece here. Well done.
03/11/06
Wow! So many loved phrases to choose from!

Ungrasp the comfort of familiar seas!
Now take My Hand.
Come Child, and go with Me!

Though you may stumble, you must never fear,
for I AM He Who knows and covers all!

My fav - Lay aside the weights of worldly wares.
Step inside the very Heart of Me!

Beautiful and glorious!





03/13/06
What a magnificient take on 'enter' - beautiful!
03/14/06
I felt baptized in joy as I was reading this!
Favorite line;
"Will you come bravely letting loose the rail
of earthly sureties and pleasures pale?"
There is such and anointing on your poetry. I loved it!
Kate~
You have received many comments on your content and I quite agree. You are great with alliteration and word phrases. You have many beautiful passages in this poem.

However, I found one phrase awkward. "And can you take the step that moves toward/the entrance to the Life I've made you for?" While the question is very worthy to ask, I stumbled over the phrasing of the question as a reader.

I also found your form erratic between pattern and no pattern. It is acceptable to have a pattern, have a few free verse stanzas and then end in the original pattern, but you started the pattern, deviated, went back to it, deviated and then ended in it. I may just be a stick in the mud about this stuff. I just find poems which are properly structured are more powerful and less distracting.

Keep working with this poem because it is so beautiful in concept and you have some phrases I would hate to see lost.
My take-away is that this is a childlike poem about a childlike calling...and thus is "the greatest!" (See Mt. 18:1-5)