The door loomed in front of me. It was massive and foreboding, causing me to feel small... intimidated. I had never been more scared in my whole life.
“I don’t wanna come in, God,” I spoke loudly so he could hear me through the door.
"Then don’t. I won’t force you…”
“But my life’s not working the way it is.”
“Then you have a choice to make, don’t you?”
“Why do I have to come in? Can’t you just fix things for me right now and then leave me alone again?”
“I’ve never left you alone; I’ve always been here. I love you more than you can imagine and it hurts me desperately to see you hurting. Yes, I could fix things for you but that wouldn’t be in your best interest.”
What was he talking about? If my life was fixed, I could go on like before. Everything would be great and I wouldn’t need to open the door at all. To me, that seemed the best solution for everyone. “Sure it would!” I hollered back.
“You think it would, but trust me, it wouldn’t. I’m God; I know these things.”
“My life really is a mess. I know I need help....” Tears sprang, unbidden, and I reached out. My hand hovered over the knob.
“Well, I’ve got all the time in the world myself. But let me just remind you, that you may not. If you hear my voice, I urge you to respond. Today is the day of salvation.”
I jerked my hand back and up toward my mouth where I proceeded to gnaw at my fingernails. Today. It was such a “now” kind of word. “But what would my friends say, God? They would laugh me into the ground if I suddenly became a religios nut.”
“So you’re saying you’d rather go to hell with your friends than go to heaven on your own? Hmmm. I don’t advise that. Hell is a million times worse than your most rock-bottom day on earth.”
“But I’d lose them.”
“You’d gain much more.”
“Like what? Rules and regulations? I wouldn’t have to become a Republican, would I? My parents would not understand that.”
A loud sigh echoed from the other side of the door. “Your fear of man is disturbing. You have much greater things to fear than your parents and friends. You could always take them with you, you know."
I laughed nervously. “Yeah, right! That would work - NOT! In case you haven’t noticed, God, they’re not the religious type.”
“I’m not after religion. I desire a relationship. There’s a difference.”
“So you won’t make me obey a bunch of rules?”
“I’ll never make you do anything. Of course, I’d love for you to follow the guidelines set forth for you in the Bible. Not only because I want you to obey, but I truly want you to experience my best for you in this life. And that only comes by obeying my Word.”
I hesitated and brushed a hand through my hair. God’s best sounded good right about now. Procrastinating, I asked another question. “Hey God? I like to laugh and have fun. Tell me: Is there any fun on your side of the door?”
“We have a pretty good time over here.”
Was it my imagination or did God sound amused?
I glanced over my shoulder. I sensed that once I opened the door, there would be no going back. My friends would likely be history. My family might disown me.
My life would likely never be the same.
And that was exactly the reason I found myself stretching my hand toward the doorknob yet again. I didn’t want my life to be the same anymore! I wanted to get off the wild and crazy ride that was my life. I wanted to stop spinning in circles and set my feet on solid ground again. I wanted something to live for instead of the next party. I doubted my problems would be fixed instantly, but at least I would have hope – and help – from someone bigger than myself.
“OK, God! I’ve made my decision. I’m coming in!” I grasped the knob and tried to twist the knob. It wouldn’t budge! What was going on?
Then, suddenly the door was transformed and Jesus was there, his hands stretched toward me in anticipation. And the blood washed over me and covered me, cleansing me from my sin.
And I took a step forward and entered in.
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