First, your honor, I will concede that any excuse for chocolate is better than none. After that, Valentine’s shameful antics disguised as true love are debatable.
Settle down in the gallery and the jury, folks. Here are the facts:
1.There were two Christian martyrs named Valentine. Many think the
custom of celebrating romance had something to do with these saints, but
alas, ‘tis not true.
2. There was an ancient Roman festival that honored the goddess of
women and marriage (Juno) and the god of nature (Pan). It was called the
Feast of Lupercalia.
3. As with many pagan festivals, the church fathers worked to bring a more
Christian meaning to the events. In 496 a Pope named Gelasius changed
Lupercalia to Saint Valentine’s Day .
4. One belief, documented centuries ago ,held that birds chose their mates on
February 14. In nearly every country there are superstitions and long held
customs surrounding this mushy, surface, warm fuzzy feeling event.
5. Why, on one day a year, are men pressured to display tender feelings they
may not possess at all? Yes, yes, women send cards and buy presents as
well, but we must admit, the males are the ones who are expected to
remember how important candy, flowers and even jewelry is. Ads won’t
let him forget. He is terrified he will end up with a sad, disappointed or
even weeping female. Sometimes guys are dense about the way these
things are handled and end up in big trouble.
6.* I Corinthians 13: 4-8 is the only reminder we need about the kind of
LOVE that never fails. “ LOVE suffers long and is kind; LOVE does not
envy, LOVE does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave
rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not
rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; LOVE bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” How many expensive lacy
cards have that sentiment?
7. Another interesting anomaly regarding this day of “love” rests in the
shape of the heart. The cardiac muscle that keeps humans marching to the
beat are never the strange looking parenthetical rendition that has come
to represent romance. Enough said there.
8.Again, I remind those of you looking for affection associated with the
most sappy, greeting card day of the year, that aside from the flowers
purchased and the candy consumed, it has little to do with real love, the
kind Paul admonishes us to practice. Why don’t we just change the name
to “Saint Chocolate Day” and be done with it?
9. In summation, there is one more very sensitive thing I would call to your
attention. For the scores of males and females who have NO love interest
and receive absolutely NO tokens of anyone’s caring or devotion, the day
of the Valentine is painful and merciless.
I rest my case. For those in favor of pummeling, please opt for the soft centers. Leave the nuts for the jury. Good day.
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