Valentine's Day crept up faster than I thought it would. And I cried all the way through it.
I waved goodbye as my older brother and his girlfriend left for dinner on the sunny February day. I let the curtain fall back into place, and then turned to face my living room. An upright piano sat against the far wall, and beside that sat a couch that could easily seat two. I sat on the end closest to the piano, staring at the blank space on the flower-printed cushions beside me.
Why didn't I have a girlfriend? I was nineteen years old, and I still had never “fallen in love” with anyone. I had never been on a date, while my friends kept going out every other night. Was something wrong with me?
I remembered watching the newest couple at church, Maggie and Steven, giggling over each other in the corner. They sat together, went to lunch together, helped out with the kids in Sunday School together. And they were so happy while they were doing it too. Maggie would look up at Steven and smile, losing herself in his face.
I sighed. Why couldn't that be me? It wasn't that I wanted to date Maggie. I didn't know who I wanted to date. I knew what kind of a girl she would be though. She would be someone smart, very witty, outgoing. She would also have to love to work with children and want to go into missions. She would have to love music: singing, playing, and listening. And above everything else, she'd have to be in love with God.
But where was my dream girl?
My gaze drifted over to the piano, where a lovely photo of my parents sat framed in cherry-colored wood. They had their arms around each other, sitting at a fancy restaurant downtown somewhere. They looked so warm together, so filled with each other. I felt my stomach churning, building up the tension within me to want that same kind of relationship. I wanted it so badly; why couldn't I have it?
My sister had left her songbook on the piano. She had practiced earlier, sending music sailing throughout the house. The song had interested me. The tune had sounded familiar, and now my curiosity beat down my anxiety over Valentine's Day, even if for a brief moment. I pulled down the songbook and opened to the page my sister had left her red bookmark in. In a little box in the corner of the page, I read the lyrics to the piece my sister had been plunking out for days.
“Darling did you know that I dream about you, waiting for the look in your eyes when we meet for the first time.
“Darling did you know that I pray about you, praying that you will hold on. Keep your loving eyes only for me.
“Cause I am waiting for, praying for you, darling. Wait for me, too. Wait for me as I wait for you. Darling, wait.”
I sat back, holding the songbook and staring at the Bible verse written beside the box: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
I half-smiled, glanced upward and whispered, “Thank You.” Even though I didn't understand right that moment, and even though it seemed so badly like I should have a girlfriend, I don't have to. God knew what He was doing. All I needed to do was wait and be praying for God to bring me the right person.
I looked back to the lace curtains over the front window and smiled, a full one this time. My eyes closed, and I said a silent prayer for my brother and his girlfriend. And then I said one for my own girlfriend, out there beyond that curtain somewhere. I only prayed she was waiting for me too.
"Wait For Me" lyrics (c) 2000 Up In The Mix Music (BMI) Admin. by EMI CMP/BibbitSong Music (BMI) Admin. by ICG
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