Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer’s Skill/Craft (04/22/10)
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TITLE: A Teacher's Gift | Previous Challenge Entry
By Maria Egilsson
04/23/10 -
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Make-believe or not, this world enticed and enthralled in its vivid alternative reality. According to legend and in this land it was true, once a dragon egg has been touched by a human it is rejected by its mother. The dragon rider was now taking this abandoned egg to the youngest princess of the fairy folk. Time was of essence before the egg became cold. A siren’s call was heard across this fairy land.
With a jolt the young girl looked up and unbidden her feet had taken her right to the steps of Campsmount School. It wasn’t a siren, it was the school bell. Blinking her eyes she was able to bring herself back into the present. Making her way to the cloakroom, she hung up her coat and pulled out her scribblers and pens from the bottom of her satchel.
Her first class of the day was in the room right next door so quickly she darted to her desk before the clock struck 9:00. The teacher walked around the room returning the essays that had been assigned the week before, placing them face down upon each desk.
In this world, the dragon rider was not as sure of herself as in the other. She waited with bated breath as her paper was the last one to be returned.
The teacher gave the signal and with a sigh the young girl slowly turned her essay over. Her eyes saw the red writing all down the right hand column. Summoning up the courage that lay within the heart of the dragon rider, she began to read. A slow smile spread across her face as the words of her teacher settled deep within her soul. A gift, the teacher said; a gift to write, a skill to hone and a craft to learn.
As precious as the gift of a dragon egg is to the fairy folk is the gift the teacher gave to this young girl on that foggy spring morning.
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Some of your young writer's fantasy, reminded me of the book,"Eragon."
Enjoyed the ending. Good work!
I did note a few spelling errors. Maybe if you told us the name of the girl and describe to us how she saw her world, this would really come to life.
Bless teachers who encourage little ones!!!
A few things that deserve second thoughts: the title really gives away your ending, and I don't know if you need the little lesson at the end. Trust your writing to get your point across, and don't feel as if you have to hammer it home to your readers.
I love the seamless way you brought us in and out of the young girl's fantasy.
I think in the beginning "shone" might work better than "shined." But I'm not entirely sure that "shined" is not proper English in this sense. Maybe it's just me.
You have a gift, Dragon Writer. ;) Keep right on using it for the Master!