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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)
(Prosperity, dear reader, can be found in the most unlikely places.)

Sale!

There’s a sale on whitewash at
First Church of the Pious Populace.
Amazing how jagged ragged dry rot can
almost disappear with a few swift coats.
There’s a sale on.
One coat with
an upward tilt of the nose and
a padded pew
goes a long way.

There’s a sale on whitewash at
New Horizon’s Church of the Chronically Excited.
Amazing how jagged ragged hot rot can
almost disappear with a few swift coats.
Did you hear?
There’s a sale on!
One coat with
a hand raised high and a syncopated shout
goes a long way.

There’s a sale on souls in
the whitewashed halls of hell.
They come cheap
and plentiful.
Competitive demand for souls is low.
“Don’t let the secret out,”
the hellions say,
“the secret of the value of a soul!
Keep pushing whitewash, so
hell can keep its gold!”


“These he carried off to the temple of his god…and put in the treasure house of his god.” Daniel 1:2b NIV
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This article has been read 2221 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jessica Schmit
05/19/06
ok, to be honest, this was really hard to follow. The lay out distrupted the flow. On a postive angle, you captured the topic in an extremely creative and fun filled fashion. I also enjoyed the unique words you used weaved throughout the piece.
Phyllis Inniss 
05/19/06
I see the point you are making. The display is interesting, but I'm not sure the reading was so easy. I like the phrases "Pious Populace" and Chronically Excited". They add to your meaning.
Jan Ackerson
05/22/06
I love your "jagged ragged dry rot" and "hot rot." Another home run in my book...the imagery and symbolism are both perfect, along with your opening remarks to the reader.
Rachel Rudd
05/22/06
I agree it is a bit difficult to read, but I like the comparison. I thought about Jesus saying that the Pharisee's were "whitewashed sepulchres" so that's the Scripture I expected at the end. Interesting take!
Pat Guy
05/22/06
Maybe it's just me, but I followed this perfectly and thought it brilliant. So true ... and so deceiving - that 'White Wash.' Wow.
Laurie Glass 
05/23/06
What a unique idea - both the idea and the style!
Tim George
05/23/06
The layout didn't bother me at all and the flow of the poem was wonderful. There is an interesting article at Faith and Fiction discussing whether the CBA will publish fiction criticla of the established church. Apparently, it's OK to show the world as evil but not so OK to point believers toward cleaning up our own house. Good job in that area!
Anita Neuman
05/23/06
This didn't flow quite as nicely as most of your work, but it still packs a punch. Great church names!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
05/23/06
What a creative idea. Good message. I enjoy reading it.
Maxx .
05/24/06
I loved the whole thing except the third line from the end. I felt it could have been a higher caliber. But the piece is strong and I love the message presented in a creative way. Nicely done and definately a contender.
Rita Garcia
05/25/06
I agree with Jan on this one,creative and unique.
Beth Muehlhausen
05/25/06
The names of the churches cracked me up. :-)

This stands alone as far as being a different category/presentation! Good for you for being so creative. :-)