Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Current Affairs (05/31/12)
By Tim Pickl
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What can I help you with? ...Would you like holographic mode?
“No, I just need to hear your voice this time, because I am nervous, and I’m cooking… is that okay?”
It’s always okay. Siri is here for you.
“My name is Henry.”
Yes, Henry, I know.
“Sometimes you think I’m Nicholas. Okay, I have a dilemma…I didn’t have time to shop…”
What can I help you with?
“What type of sauce should I use in my spaghetti? Do we have any?”
“Very funny. Siri is silly.”
I know. I am <i>Silly Siri</i>. You nicknamed me! I suggest you use <i>Prego Classic</i>. You are down to your last jar.
“Thanks… found it! I have a special friend coming over for dinner.”
<i>Special</i> friend? I suggest the latest fluorescent flowers, Henry.
“Silly Siri! I know you saw me bring in the flowers. While I’m making dinner, I need to get caught up on current events.”
Current affairs, Henry?
“Not only are you being silly tonight, you are playing word games, too. You know I don’t like that word, ‘affairs.’.”
Then, current <i>events</i>, it is… In U.S. presidential politics today, the Republican nominee posted on his Facebook page that he will be visiting our town next week. He is going to announce his Vice Presidential running mate at an orchestrated speech—
“Why does petty politics trump all the rest of the news? We’re already inundated with WAY too many spin-filled radio, television, internet and holographic commercials.”
Probably, dear Henry, because most of the stories are about them. It’s all about <i>image</i>.
“Makes sense, dear Siri.”
“Hey, I can be silly, too. Please switch to Current Events related to Bible Prophecy.”
<i>Breaking News:</i> Israel, working with a coalition led by the United States, is attacking Iran’s nuclear facilities. It is reported that several terrorist groups in the region are already counterattacking, with a major assault on the Israeli people. Recently, the terrorist groups formed an alliance with their stated main purpose of wiping Israel off the face of the earth—something the leadership of Iran has been promising for years.
“Are you serious? <i>Wow…</i>”
No, I am Siri… In related news, unconfirmed reports are circulating that Israel may be forced to use the Samson Option. The Samson Option basically is Israel’s nuclear “last resort” if her existence is ultimately threatened. Israel has never publicly admitted they have nuclear weapons, but would probably use them if they had them.
“Thanks, Siri. That’s enough.”
You are very welcome, Henry. What does this all mean? Does this mean this is the end?
“No, the world as-we-know-it will not end until Jesus returns. But, until then things are going to get really rough.”
That’s good. Will you have to shut Siri down, like you did when you forgot to pay your mobile phone bill?
“You haven’t forgiven me for that, have you?”
Forgive? Yes, I have forgiven you, as you have taught me. Forget? It’s difficult for Siri to forget things.
“Silly Siri. We may have to make a bunch of changes in our lives. I will miss… What was that?”
Your friend is here. She pulled up and parked in front. She’s beautiful.
“Connect to her now.”
“Hi, this is Emma. I’m here a little early.”
“I know, but I’m not finished making dinner yet, and I wanted to warn you my place is messy.”
“Oh, Henry, that’s okay. I came to help. I heard the news about Israel and wanted to get together and pray.”
“All right, I’m disconnecting now.”
Henry, I unlocked the door for Emma.
She’s here! Hello Emma. What can I help you with?
“Hi Emma, it’s so good to see you.”
“I missed you, too, Henry.”
“Siri, current news, <i>On Screen</i> mode.”
On screen… <i>Breaking News:</i> This is the latest raw video streaming from our Mideast reporters. Israeli and Coalition planes, working along with naval and ground forces are attacking Iran with a vengeance the world has rarely seen.
“Look at that! This is very scary, Henry. Will one third of the earth be destroyed?”
“In Revelation, the Bible clearly outlines periods of mass destruction. This will probably escalate.”
Henry, turn off the <i>Prego Classic</i>, it’s just about to burn.
“Thank you, Siri. I didn’t know you could smell, too?”
I am the <i>latest</i> model... Oh, and Henry?
“Yes, Siri. Now what?”
Treat her like a lady.
No, the toaster, silly. Yes, Emma!
“Emma… will you… marry me?”
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