The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You've accomplished quite a poetic work with your alliteration. Great use of contrasts with sorrow and hope. The use of "purpose" and "planned" in your repeating stanzas is powerful.
"A little pitchy", as Randy, (the judge on American Idol) might say. In other words - not a very smooth rhythmic beat. Honestly (a la Simon Cowell), I didn't understand the intention or some of the descriptive words. I'm only a reader, not a judge, and I'm definitely no Einstein on don't lose heart. Keep on doing your thing, and God Bless!
You put alot of work into it and covered alot of time/territory. The message is very good and comes across well. I struggled alittle with the meter or something. But I enjoyed it.
Your poetry is way above my level; I admit I really didn't understand most of it, so it would be unfair of me to critique it!