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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Good and Bad (05/07/09)

TITLE: Intended
By Rachel Rudd
05/13/09


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Green grass matures steady and quite strong,
Prickly portions poking through leads wrong.
Working hard with sweat on bronzed arms and brow,
No way to live easy will earth allow.

Luscious lying levels at the heart,
Poison potions plaguing like a dart.
Giving in to fancyís golden allure,
No way to gain pleasure happens for sure.

Itís not what you purposed, not what you planned.
Your will for our good was love at your hand.

Fragile fingers fall with a sharp jerk,
Living lips lie about the headís work.
Dying slowly without knowing oneís self,
No way to hold firmly to oneís own health.

Soft silky strands rest against her neck,
Dearest darling destroyed in the wreck.
Being alive without oneís little girl,
No way to stop sorrow in this harsh world.

Itís not what you purposed, not what you planned.
Your will for our good was joy at your hand.

Freedom flowing fully, river wide,
Grace given gently where none stem the tide.
Resting safely in arms from above,
Only one way to find life full of love.

Pitiless problems push intent to maim,
Suffíring sovereign with this in mind came.
Turning evil and woes into our good.
Only one way through his death could.

It is what you purposed, it is what you planned.
Your will for our good was peace at your hand.

Salvaged sinners seeking righteous Lord,
Praising priesthood purpose to accord,
Hunting righteous, pagans seek to malign,
Only one way for His light through us to shine.

Fulfilled faithful fearing Holy One
Heavenís honored worshipping the Son.
Leaving sorrow with its cruel tears behind
Only one way of hope for all mankind.

It is what you purposed, it is what you planned.
Your will for our good was life at your hand.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 05/16/09
You've accomplished quite a poetic work with your alliteration. Great use of contrasts with sorrow and hope. The use of "purpose" and "planned" in your repeating stanzas is powerful.
Marilyn Schnepp 05/17/09
"A little pitchy", as Randy, (the judge on American Idol) might say. In other words - not a very smooth rhythmic beat. Honestly (a la Simon Cowell), I didn't understand the intention or some of the descriptive words. I'm only a reader, not a judge, and I'm definitely no Einstein on poetry...so don't lose heart. Keep on doing your thing, and God Bless!
Mona Purvis05/18/09
You put alot of work into it and covered alot of time/territory. The message is very good and comes across well. I struggled alittle with the meter or something. But I enjoyed it.
Mona
Patricia Herchenroether05/21/09
Your poetry is way above my level; I admit I really didn't understand most of it, so it would be unfair of me to critique it!