The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 979 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I thought of the Monkey's Uncle angle and now I am so glad didn't do it. This is so cute and so well done. Loved all the activity and the cleaning. I'm still smiling.
04/24/08
I love your title's play on words! Your "transparent hardness," "hairless ape," and "running foot-and-knuckle" terms are great :). I could see your monkey antics as you described them. I said a silent, "ewww" to the "until a flea…Kucheskha found it and ate it for him" comment. :) Then there's "Babu" a real monkey's uncle -- how funny! Your lesson is excellent! I love it. Your creativity with this is exceptional.
04/28/08
Superb satire!

I didn't quite understand your rules for the monkeys' language. They had words for lots of things--fleas, vines--and they had proper nouns and even words for concepts like communication. So why did they call glass "Transparent Hardness?" Thinking about that distracted me a bit.

But that's just how weird I am. I was enjoying this a lot just as a monkey story, but when the asatire became evident at the last thrid or so, I sat up and said "Yes!"
04/28/08
Good questions, Jan!
I chose to give them words for things that would be found normally in nature, and to have them lacking words for things that are man made.
As for the names that I used, they were taken from a Swahili-English dictionary. I figured that African names were fitting. "Matoke" means "Banana." "Kuchekesha" means "Funny." "Babu" means "Grandfather." And "Vipara" (the hairless humans) means "Bald!"
Thanks to everyone for their comments!
This is such a fun read. I love the ending. Your message comes through loud and clear with just the right touch of humor.
04/28/08
Ahhh! I loved this. Loved the end. Loved it all. Heehee!
04/28/08
Very clever, and so fun to read. Great job with the topic.
I really enjoyed this. I got the "transparent hardness" part right off, but not the "Vipara"! I didn't catch on till toward the end. Very well done!
04/29/08
Would the monkeys want us to be related? I think not!

Cute story. It kept me engaged right to the end. I loved the details especially the picking and eating the fleas and ticks!
04/29/08
A very clever piece, and a very good read. You did very well showing how the monkeys view us baring our teeth and the funny noises in our throats. Very creative!
04/30/08
I really enjoyed this one, great twist. You did a good job!