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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sport or Fitness (02/15/07)

TITLE: Mulligan's Island
By william price
02/20/07


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Margie Linkwidow’s right arm was in a cast. She held a cup of tea with her usable hand while she spoke with her mother across the kitchen table.

“We had to avoid two snakes. Not one, mom, but two.”

“What kind, dear?”

“I don’t know. The ugly, ‘I want to bite you‘, kind.”

“Is that when you broke your arm?”

“No, that came later. First, Frank had to climb a tree, fall in a pond and dump our golf cart over on a steep hill.”

“Did you break it then?”

“No, that’s when I skinned my knee and broke a fingernail.”

“I’m so sorry, dear.”

Margie scooted her chair back from the table.

“Do you see this bruise on my leg? Frank hit me with a golf ball. I was standing 30 feet directly to his right. It defied all laws of physics. We also got chased by a dog while we looked for another golf ball in somebody’s backyard. And do you see this knot on my head? He hit me with a golf club.”

“What!”

“Well, I thought standing in front of him was too dangerous, so I stood behind him and, wham, a seven iron right in the noggin when the club slipped out of his hands.”

“Margie, dear, what about your arm?”

“I fell into a deep sand trap.”

“What, why, how?”

“I thought standing on the far side of the green was the safest place while Frank was putting. But when he made it, I got excited, jumped up and fell backwards into the sand.”

“Margie, how did he get you to go golfing with him in the first place? Didn’t I warn you? Golf is not included in the wedding vows. It’s beyond worse; more deadly than any sickness and is akin to death where it’s okay to part for five hours.”

A smile crept across Margie’s lips. “I’m sorry, mom, but it was my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were watching golf on T.V. and I told Frank it wasn’t a sport. He told me there was a difference between professional golf and REAL golfing and invited me to go. So, I did.”

Her mother reached across the kitchen table and grabbed her daughter’s hand. “It’s okay now, dear. You survived. Just promise me you’ll never go again.”

“I won’t, mom. It’s too dangerous.”

“Daughter, listen to me and look at me when I say this. The danger of tagging along with your husband golfing isn’t just physical. You might, and I dare even speak the words, want to play yourself.”

“And that would be a bad thing? Not that I would ever want to, but I know I could play as badly as he does.”

“Stop! Stop that train of thought right now. Listen to me. Both of you playing would be the end of your marriage. You need for him to be gone golfing. And he needs to be able to come back home and tell you how low he shot. Men have a unique scoring system in golf. For some reason, all those shots they chase after in the woods, across airport runways and fish out of ponds, don’t count. They created a word called “mulligan“. They’re allowed to hit another ball and get a second chance like the last shot never happened. Trust me. Take up bungee jumping, sky diving, anything but golf. Don’t get sucked into their bizarre world.”

“Did you golf once with dad?”

“I don‘t like talking about it, dear. It’s too painful. But, do you remember that summer you and I lived with grandma and grandpa?”

“Yes, was it because of golf? I thought dad had to work and couldn‘t go on vacation with us.”

“No, it was golf. I had begun playing and actually scored better than your dad. His friends started wanting me in their foursomes in tournaments. It was awful.”

“What happened?”

“We separated.”

“How did you get back together?”

“Church.”

“Church?”

“Yes, dear, it was your dad’s idea. Of course, if I had known there was a Christian Men’s Golf League involved, I never would have fallen for it. But, it worked out. It was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage and family.”

“So, we didn’t always go to church?”

“No, it all started with golf. In fact the married couple’s home group we’re hosting now is a result.”

“Isn‘t that the group you want Frank and me to join? What‘s it called again?”

“Mulligan‘s Island.”


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This article has been read 1071 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Author Unknown02/22/07
he, he. oh the volumes of truth you speak! I liked it :) love Mulligan's Island too!
Amy Michelle Wiley 02/22/07
Laughed out loud in a couple of spots. Hehe! Too funny.
Joanney Uthe02/24/07
LOL. This was really well written. The "dangers" of golf were so done. "Mom" should have been capitalized when Margie used it as her name, but overall, I think this one is a winner. I like how the advise was personal experience, because this advise would have seemed extreme otherwise. We will miss you and your entries while you're gone. Blessings.
Betty Castleberry02/24/07
Oh what a hoot! I *love* this tongue-in-cheek piece. You know us ladies pretty well, don't you?
Jacquelyn Horne02/24/07
Loved reading this. Cute title, good writing.
Allison Egley 02/24/07
Hehe This was so good. As others have mentioned, I loved how the mother presented the "dangers" of golf. Great job.
Patty Wysong02/24/07
Too fun!! You sure did capture that pair--I felt like I was sitting with them (snickering!!) :-)
Marilee Alvey02/24/07
This was fresh and funny. You've given people a really good laugh in a sport that has taken our country by storm. A lot of women can relate to this one, myself included. Amazing how well you can "get into their skin and walk around." Very creative. Wish I'd thought of it! You tie up the end nicely, by the way! Just when I thought the surprises were over! Good job!
Helen Paynter02/24/07
Oh, brilliant! Well, they say you should leave on a high (and I certainly hope this will be a win for you), but we'd all prefer it if you didn't leave at all. Go on. Pretty please...
Did I mention that I really enjoyed this piece?
Jen Davis02/25/07
I loved this! It was so much fun. And this was written by a man! Great job of capturing these women’s voices. There was so much to love about this piece, but here are a couple of my favorites: “I don’t know. The ugly, ‘I want to bite you‘, kind.” “Trust me. Take up bungee jumping, sky diving, anything but golf.” I’m sorry to hear you’ll be leaving for a while. I’ll miss your stories and your kind spirit.
Jan Ackerson 02/25/07
Hilarious! I grinned, and then I grinned some more. Hope your vacation is a short one; your writing is a treasure.
Tabiatha Tallent02/26/07
LOL! I loved it! A funny life lesson, can't get any better than that.
Joanne Malley02/26/07
Only you...that's all I have to say! LOL Great job! Jo
T. F. Chezum02/27/07
Well it's unanimous, this is a lot of fun. Clever and creative, and excellent job.
Suzanne R02/27/07
Too funny!

But what's this in the comments about you leaving? Obviously I missed something significant on the boards. You can't, you can't, you can't! No.

Like other commenters have said, I enjoyed the way you got inside the skins of the two women.

Well done!
Donna Emery02/27/07
Absolutely wonderful! I'm not a golf fan but I loved the description of golfing. Great title and excellent dialog! Thanks for sharing this
Loren T. Lowery02/28/07
Your writing is once again "par for the course".

If you absolutely must go and play on other fairways, try to avoid the "sand traps" and don't spend too much time at the "19th hole."

From the short time I've been here I've learned that not only your writings, but your presence here on FW is a blessing to many.

Numbers 6:23-26 and Galatians 6:9


Sara Harricharan 02/28/07
LOL! Poor Margie! I love the chain of events leading up to the 'broken arm'. Golfing sounds like a dangerous sport for her, nice touch with the Mulligan's Island bit. ^_^
terri tiffany03/01/07
Bill - Once again you did it!:) This was so funny and cute and moved at a great pace ...love reading your work!
Marilee Alvey03/01/07
Congratulations, Bill, on your Editor's Choice win! You set the standard, as always!
Edy T Johnson 03/02/07
And, where did you find the name "Linkwidow," pray tell. Is there really such a name? Or, is this another of your hidden clues?

Congratulations on getting another one in the book, SirWilliam! It is always such a delight to see your name up in lights, here!