The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/10/14
I’d love to have your input into the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons.
01/10/14
I’d love to have your input into the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons.
01/10/14
Touching, reflective and quite a powerful read.

I truly enjoyed your story and the message it conveyed.

Thank you.

God bless~
01/10/14
If this world had more Eli, things wouldn't be half s bad. Lovely story. I enjoyed the setting.
01/12/14
You have a lot of good things going in this. I loved the sci-fi feel with its complete unpredictability. The insertion of "time" and checking the watch throughout made me conscious of it time for them, and anxious on your character's behalf. You set me completely in their story. Good work!
Engrossing! I thoroughly enjoyed this, while falling in love with Eli's heart . . .
I felt as if I reading about life in a totalitarian society. You created a realistic atmosphere.

There are a few spots where you could trim some words. This would give you more words to use in showing instead of telling.

Overall though, very good.
01/13/14
Good interesting story. Written very well. Keep up the good work. Blessings.
01/13/14
I really enjoy reading speculative fiction, and this one has a premise that I've never read before--well done!

There are some comma errors and run-on sentences that could use some tweaking; that would improve the flow of your piece. And the switch in POV in the last few paragraphs was slightly disorienting.

This one made me think, to be sure, about whether the ways I spend my time would be considered worthy of reward. Love it.
01/13/14
A clever story for sure. You drew me right into the atmosphere and I loved the message you portrayed. A well written piece. Great job!
01/15/14
Really enjoyed this and the message brought forth. Good job!
01/16/14
I really enjoyed your unique take on this topic.

At the days end - what have we accomplished deserving of eternal reward?
01/16/14
Very creative piece and an easy read. I think this one will do well. Keep on writing!
In as much as you have done it to the least of these you have done it unto me.

We all are going to be judged on our life works if we are in Christ. Those outside of Christ will be judged differently.

Christians have to be careful where their priority is.

You have a very inviting story that related to this.

Very thought provoking. Where am I.
01/16/14
Quite an interesting story with a good sci-fi feel.

I noticed a few messed words (at for what in para 4 for example). You may find a slow re-read after a day's break will help eradicate these; it always helps me.

The message is pure gold.

Well done and blessings, Graham.
01/16/14
Congrats!!!
01/17/14
Hey thanks all, and thanks for the hints and tips. esp Graham... specific examples help me understand feedback :)
Bless ya all
Interesting blend of the familiar and the future. Realistic. Congratulations.