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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Exhale (08/15/13)

TITLE: It's Gone
By Ken Ebright
08/19/13


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Ron went to a coffee shop with his computer to work on the Hannon account. He stepped away to use the restroom, and when he came back his laptop was gone. He dashed around the restaurant checking other tables. When he couldn't find his computer, he tripped on a floor mat as he ran to the cash register. "I was working on something at the booth over there. When I came back my computer was gone."

The waitress was chewing a piece of gum. "Sir, there is nothing I can do. You may want to call the police."

He notified the police then he called his wife. "Hello."

"Honey, M...my c...om…pp…u..t..er was stolen."

"Ron, take a deep breath. Did you call the police?"

Ron felt a tingle in his hands. "Yes, I did not, They'll f-f-f-f-i-i-i--r-r-e me."

"You're not listening to me; take a breath and pray. Jesus will help you."

He dropped the phone when he saw the police. "The cops are here; I have to go. They want to ask me some questions."

The next day, he sat in his car, and prayed before he went into work. "Dear Lord, I'm so upset that I can't breathe. Please help me with Mr. Edwards. I am worried that I'll lose my job. Amen."

Ron got out of his car, and shuffled into his boss's office. The door was open, and he stood in the entryway. "Mr. Edwards, I need to speak to you."

Mr. Edwards motioned him to sit in the chair. "Okay, have a seat."

Ron looked down at the floor. "I was at a diner last night working on the Hannon account. I left to use the restroom, and when I came back, the company's computer was gone."

Mr. Edwards face turned red. "Gone, it was stolen? Why didn't you call me?"

Ron felt his face starting to sweat as his stomach churn. "It was midnight; I didn't want to wake you."

Mr. Edwards grabbed the phone. "I have to call the IT department and report this. Our clients' confidentiality is at risk. We'll talk about this later. Right now, get out there and get to work!"

About an hour later, Mr. Edwards called Ron back into his office. "Ron, you almost lost your job today. I talked to IT, and they said that there has been a rash of computer thefts lately. The police raided a warehouse early this morning. They found your computer because your business card was attached to it. You also got lucky because the thief wasn't able to crack the code. It's a good thing we have several lines of security on your computer. Don't let this happen again."

"I won't Mr. Edwards." Ron trembled as he staggered out of his office.

Ron went outside and called his wife.

"Honey, They f---f---ou---nd the computer."

"What?"

Ron paced back and forth. "They…computer."

His wife screamed, "Ron, you need to take a deep breath."

Ron's hands shook as he held onto the phone. "T… computer."

"Inhale, exhale, you can do it."

Ron started to calm down. "They found the computer."

"Good, what about your job?"

Ron looked out into space as his head started to spin. "I..I..job."

His wife whistled over the phone. "Do what I said, inhale, exhale. You'll feel better, and I will be able to understand you."

After a few minutes, Ron caught his breath. "They're letting me keep my job."

"Praise the Lord! I've been praying for you, and He answered our prayer."

Ron darted back into the building. "He sure did! I need to get back to work."


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This article has been read 118 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 08/22/13
Spot on topic, and good story in the process. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

God bless~
Jan Ackerson 08/22/13
That would certainly be a horrible feeling, to lose a valuable computer.

I did feel that your main characters' reactions were a bit over the top and unrealistic. Perhaps a bit less stuttering and loss of breath, and his wife need not scream.

Your story had good pacing and the best possible ending.
Brenda Rice 08/22/13
So happy for the ending. I hate losing things, but a company computer would be a big deal.

I like your story and you did a good job with the topic.

Thanks.
Mike Newman08/23/13
Great story, thank you for sharing.

I do agree with Jan about the realism of some of the incidents in the story (police responding so promptly to a computer theft and the reactions of the characters).

Well done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/30/13
Congratulations for ranking 6th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)Happy Dance!!