The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Savory to the Taste (07/26/12)
Betsy was almost finished making her entry for the county fair; a blueberry pie. She had to admit that it was beginning to look like a winner. Betsy finished rounding out the crust and as she worked her way around it, she felt a sense of pride and that pride brought out a beautiful smile that highlighted her oval face, short cropped brown hair and blue eyes. She had a kind smile that made people feel better and more hopeful; the moment they looked at her.

As she prepared to put the pie in the oven, she gave it one more look. Her look was one of pride, of achievement and a look of a winner. She placed the pie in the oven and then began the cleanup of her kitchen. Betsy always kept a clean kitchen; she was proud that once she had finished her cooking or baking and then did her cleaning of the kitchen, it looked sparkling clean and orderly. Just like kitchens one might see on TV.

About an hour later she brought out the pie. It looked wonderful; golden brown with a touch of blueberry coming out of the slits but just enough to give it a look of beauty and tastefulness.

Her main rival for this contest was Wilma Goodheart. Wilma was an excellent pie maker but, in Betsy’s opinion, she hurried too much in the preparation of her pies and that gave the pie a processed taste; at least in her mind. Oh well, she thought. Wilma was a good competitor and it should be fun to compete with her once again.

The day of the contest arrived and as usual, Wilma Goodheart was the first one to arrive at the pie contest site. Betsy arrived late but was able to enter her pie and that made her smile. She felt confident with the pie she presented and that confidence spread to her face and throughout her entire body.

Wilma stood in the far corner of the building looking confident but also looking like she had a secret. As Betsy turned around to look for a place to sit, she saw Wilma and the look she received from her, made her shudder. She felt like she was going to faint and her face turned an ashen gray. She looked for a place to sit down and found a place toward the middle of the room. More women filed in and placed their pies on the long table in front of the room. In about ten minutes the judges came in and began tasting the pies. The first pie they tasted was an apple one and Betsy could tell that they didn’t like it. They continued tasting and at several entries, they paused to take a second taste and then made their notes.

Then, they came to Wilma’s butterscotch pie. Betsy and others that were watching could see that they were impressed with the pie because they took several taste tests. Betsy looked around and found that Wilma was still standing in the back of the room, smiling but looking a bit nervous. All of a sudden, the taste testers—all three of them—began to look ill and quickly left the building. Everything came to a halt. When Betsy looked around for Wilma, she noticed that she was gone.

A spokeswoman came hurriedly into the room and said, “The pie contest is over. All three of our pie testers are ill and on the way to the hospital. We are currently searching for Wilma. If anyone knows how to get a hold of her, let us know now!”

Betsy raised her hand and said, “I know where you can find Wilma.”

The spokeswoman said, “Where? We need to know what she put in the pie!”

“I found out from her son, John several years ago that she has a place in the country about 20 miles from here where she likes to hide and get away from people. Most likely, she is there.”

Hours later they found Wilma at her country home, where she was eating a blueberry pie; a pie that was laced with poison. Wilma was tired of life and competing with losers and competing with women who were always trying to beat her. This would be one pie contest she would win!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 525 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
08/03/12
Wow - This reminded me of an old Alfred Hitchcock story. Great job...and so very different for the topic at hand. Well-written.

God bless~
Mildred Sheldon
08/06/12
WOW! Not the run of the mill story. A sad ending. Thanks for sharing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/07/12
This is a riveting story. I'm not often taken by surprise but you did surprise me with this ending.

The biggest red ink I'd offer would be to watch out how many times you repeat a word. Pride/proud was one that I noticed you used a lot. I was a tad confused in the end who made the poison pie because she had made butterscotch but was eating what the other lady made-blueberry.

I think this is an out of the box story. You did a nice job of building the suspense and then taking the reader on a roller coaster of a ride. Nice job.