The Official Writing Challenge
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Very good!
08/02/12
This was a very moving story; one that is so familiar. I honestly did not pick up on the "savory morsel" idea until the end of the story, but all in all I enjoyed your entry very much.
08/04/12
Nice take on the topic: getting a savory morsel from the master's table. Good job.
08/05/12
Great job with the "very familiar line" about feeding to the dogs. Well written and very good choice and approach for the topic at hand. Nicely done!

Thanks. God Bless~
I really enjoyed the retelling of this familiar story. You did a nice job of bringing the MC to life. I can easily picture her fear, despair, and then hope, and joy.

You did a nice job of showing instead of telling. When using a tagline like she asked the word closest to the quote should be in lowercase because by itself she asked is not a complete sentence. For example: "Are you okay?" she asked. What I would recommend is to get rid of the tagline and describe the emotion or actions of the person. For example: "Are you okay?" She bit her lower lip and held her breath. This shows that she is the speaker and it gives a picture for the reader.

I do think this is a great story. I think the criterion that the judges might mark as lowest would be the topic. Though you mentioned it in the end, it would be hard for someone to guess the topic if they didn't know it.

Your beginning paragraph was great. It drew me in immediately. Even though I knew how it would unfold, I was still eager to keep reading. It's well-written and you really build on the conflict. You message was clear too. It's not always easy to have faith, especially when children are hurting or in danger but not only will Jesus help the faithful but he'll give us the strength to endure.