The Official Writing Challenge
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01/26/12
Interesting and right on target with the topic. Clearly a debate for the ages...I love that Norm won! Good job with this. It was well written and held my interest. God Bless~
I enjoyed this lively debate. You did a great job covering the topic. The beginning was interesting and I was anxious to read on.

I think one of the things you need to be careful is repeating words (unless it's done for effect) You used economy 3 xs in a sentence or two. Grab a thesaurus and stretch yourself to use new words. In a short story like this, try to avoid repeating the major words at all or maybe just once but try to separate them. Use phrases like the recession, have the speaker talk about getting people spending money again. Sometimes you have to repeat words, but don't be afraid of expanding your vocabulary.

The ending was great. It came to a good end and brought the reader full circle. I like pieces that make me stop and think and your piece certainly did that.
01/27/12
Powerful story. There were many things that rubbed me the wrong way. What this means is, you did a really good job getting across the two issues.

I especially liked the ending. Pro-Life and unemployment can be worked on together. Now if only we can get the real politicians to act accordingly. Nice job!
01/29/12
Nice job. Your story is certainly on topic.

There were several small errors in formatting. There should be a space before "Norm banged his hand on the podium." And there should NOT be a space when Norm continues his dialogue by saying "It's becoming clear to me . . . " If you want to a pause there, you could throw in a tidbit of action between his sentences. "He shook his head" or "He let out a sigh".

As for formatting, make sure you preview your entry before hitting the submit button. Sometimes things change from how it was in the original document. If you want to center your asterisks you can do it with html code, which is easy to Google. To center you put
before and
after whatever you want to center.

I notice within your dialogue all your action phrases precede what the character is saying. Try mixing it up and putting some after dialogue.

You did a good job writing on a controversial subject. Keep writing!
01/30/12
I remember being in Level 1 and so hungry for constructive criticism. Learn from what others tell you and it will be such a benefit. Thanks so much for the boldness to write about a controversial topic. Loved it. God bless!
02/01/12
Spot on the topic, good job. I like that you used action to introduce the dialogue: snickered, smirked, etc, but do mix up their position around your dialogue sentences. Nicely done.