Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Agreement/Disagreement (01/19/12)

TITLE: Is Lfe Worth It
By Ken Ebright
01/22/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Because of the death of Paul Milstone, it was a contentious debate . No one expected Ted Fondale (D) and Norm Doleman (R) to be the next US Senator.

The moderator asked, "Ted, because you just entered the race, no one knows what your view is on abortion. When does life begin?"

Ted let out a deep breath. "That question is a ridiculous waste of time. The election is Tuesday. People care more about the unemployment rate."
Norm banged his hand on the podium. "That's absurd! There's no reason we can't take the time. Don't you think the people have the right to know where you stand on life?"

Ted snickered. "If you were to ask most people on the street, they would say the economy is more important than abortion."

Normís face turned a crimson red as he scowled at Ted. "I've never said that the economy is not important! The economy will always be an issue. We can deal with both."

Ted sneered. "What are you going to say to someone who is unemployed -- Sorry but Iím going to put you on the back burner?"

Norm glared at Ted as he looked over the top of his glasses. "That's an outrageous comment! Iím not going to put the unemployed on the back burner.

Itís becoming clear to me that youíre a typical Democrat. You donít care about unborn babies!"

Ted smirked. "Abortion is here to stay. Thank God it will never end." He gritted his teeth. "We have a 15 percent unemployment rate, therefore people will do anything to get a job. They don't care about abortion."

By now, Normís face glowed like a red tomato. "You havenít answered the question. When does life begin? Sure, we all realize that Paulís policies destroyed jobs; so if we lower taxes the CEOís will have the money to expand their companies. At the same time, we can add a human life amendment to our constitution." Norm paused and shook his head "Why can't you answer a simple question?"

Ted threw his hands into the air. "The sad thing is youíll never understand the plight of the unemployed person. The economy is more important than abortion. I stand by what I believe."

*******
On election night, the crowd cheered at Doleman headquarters. Norm walked out on the stage. "I just spoke to Ted and he congratulated me on my victory. He sounded very gracious when he wished me luck as your new US Senator. I reassured him that I will be an advocate to bring more jobs to our state.Ē

The crowd jumped to its feet while screaming for joy, Norm put his hands up and the crowd hushed. "Ladies and Gentleman, I have always been pro-life and I will not put the issue of life on the back burner just because we have a 15 percent unemployment rate. Again, so no one takes my words out of context, we will deal with both issues simultaneously."

The crowd roared as Norm stepped off the stage and shook hands with his constituents.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 251 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 01/26/12
Interesting and right on target with the topic. Clearly a debate for the ages...I love that Norm won! Good job with this. It was well written and held my interest. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/26/12
I enjoyed this lively debate. You did a great job covering the topic. The beginning was interesting and I was anxious to read on.

I think one of the things you need to be careful is repeating words (unless it's done for effect) You used economy 3 xs in a sentence or two. Grab a thesaurus and stretch yourself to use new words. In a short story like this, try to avoid repeating the major words at all or maybe just once but try to separate them. Use phrases like the recession, have the speaker talk about getting people spending money again. Sometimes you have to repeat words, but don't be afraid of expanding your vocabulary.

The ending was great. It came to a good end and brought the reader full circle. I like pieces that make me stop and think and your piece certainly did that.
Judy Sauer 01/27/12
Powerful story. There were many things that rubbed me the wrong way. What this means is, you did a really good job getting across the two issues.

I especially liked the ending. Pro-Life and unemployment can be worked on together. Now if only we can get the real politicians to act accordingly. Nice job!
Jennifer Dawn Dexter 01/29/12
Nice job. Your story is certainly on topic.

There were several small errors in formatting. There should be a space before "Norm banged his hand on the podium." And there should NOT be a space when Norm continues his dialogue by saying "It's becoming clear to me . . . " If you want to a pause there, you could throw in a tidbit of action between his sentences. "He shook his head" or "He let out a sigh".

As for formatting, make sure you preview your entry before hitting the submit button. Sometimes things change from how it was in the original document. If you want to center your asterisks you can do it with html code, which is easy to Google. To center you put
before and
after whatever you want to center.

I notice within your dialogue all your action phrases precede what the character is saying. Try mixing it up and putting some after dialogue.

You did a good job writing on a controversial subject. Keep writing!
Leola Ogle 01/30/12
I remember being in Level 1 and so hungry for constructive criticism. Learn from what others tell you and it will be such a benefit. Thanks so much for the boldness to write about a controversial topic. Loved it. God bless!
Jody Day 02/01/12
Spot on the topic, good job. I like that you used action to introduce the dialogue: snickered, smirked, etc, but do mix up their position around your dialogue sentences. Nicely done.