“To seek is to find; but how do I find something that I have no idea where to start looking?”
I had been asking myself that now for quite some time. The Lord just never seemed to be in the places that I was looking. I guess I kind of expected Him to be under a rock, or hidden in my bedroom closet like that favorite toy every child seems to lose. I didn’t really understand how all of my friends and family just seemed to be so “in tune” with God. They just all seemed to know exactly where to find Him.
One day I actually followed my pastor home from church to see if maybe he would see Him-- which in turn would allow me to find him--but once again I just seemed to be out of the loop and missed Him. All I found on that occasion was a confused pastor who wondered why I had traveled 15 miles out of my way after church.
“Roger, I saw that you had come my way last Sunday.”
“Oh...yeah....I...uh...just decided to take a joy ride and...uh...enjoy the scenery.” (that was the best excuse I could come up with).
“Oh well that is a nice ride. It is always a great ride home for me. I get to spend a lot of time with God during that time, and I actually get his opinion on my sermons during that trip.”
I was completely baffled! I took that same trip and followed him the entire way to his house. I almost even followed him into his drive way, and I didn’t even catch a glimpse of anything resembling what God would look like.
I just did not understand how I continually seemed to keep missing God everywhere I went. That was until I was through playing this “Hide and Seek” game. One cool evening in July I finally had enough, but for some reason I knew exactly what was going to happen. I had had several other nights just like that, but this specific time I finally picked up on the message that was being communicated to me.
I was lying next to the pond out beside my house when it happened. I was not the nice guy that I always tend to be. I was for some reason really angry that night, but that was soon to turn into a humble cry.
“God, where are you at!? Why can’t I seem to find where you are? Why won’t you speak to me? Answer me. I said ANSWER ME!!”
But there was nothing. It was silent. All I heard was the wind blowing gently in the trees and the crisp, quiet cheerping of the crickets among them; and then it hit me. It hit me like a cinder block making contact with the ground after dropping off a 10 story building. It was God. I had realized that He had been there the whole time. Every time I had taken a stroll outside, or looked at a smiling kid’s face. God had been in everything. It was only until I had been silent and listened with my heart that I heard His voice. He told me through His creation that He had always been there.
The Lord inhabits the praises of His people. That is what I was told. The trees and the crickets, the children and my pastor were all doing what they were created to do–just simply praising Him.
Now I can say that I am just like the trees because I finally understand. I don’t have to keep looking. I finally found my God.
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