Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
TITLE: The Mystery of Miss Terry’s Missing Terry Teddy Bear
By Bryan Coomes
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My name is John Doe and I am not just some hack gumshoe; I am the new breed of detective. A technophile by nature, I look at how I can incorporate the latest and greatest technologies into my investigations. Of course right now the cash flow has been a little slow so my telephone has been disconnected, the power at my home office has been shut off, and my old beat up jalopy is still sitting in the shop waiting to be repaired. For a lesser detective these would pose a problem.
Now the cases that I did solve didn’t exactly provide any monetary compensation but I did receive some encouraging comments. Some remarks included: “Nice going Sherlock”, “No one saw that one coming”, “You have a real talent for stating the obvious” and my personal favorite “You shouldn’t quit your day job”. You just can’t put a price on positive reinforcement like that.
This investigation was performed old school. I knew that I had to get inside the minds of the suspects and figure out their motivations for committing such a heinous crime. This was a case of great intrigue, one that had kidnapping, false imprisonment, extortion, and attempted murder, just to name a few. Well, I may have over exaggerated just then a bit but it had a lot of stuff going on.
My friend, lets just call her Miss Terry (since she is single and her name is Terry) mentioned that she misplaced her terry teddy bear named…yes you guessed it…”Terry”. Now since I am so adept at reading people I knew what she really meant, her beloved bear had been stolen!
I quickly sprang into action compiling an extensive list of potential culprits all of whom coincidentally were students in Miss Terry’s second grade class. The last time anyone saw the bear in question it had been resting in its usual place on Miss Terry’s desk. Through utilizing my impressive skills of deduction, well it’s really more like subtraction, the suspects in the class were quickly whittled down as I do not have the time or patience necessary to interview 22 second graders. Two nefarious little rogues stood out of the pack: Vinny “Dirty Hands” Palantino, and Timmy “The Mouth” Palmer. I had had run-ins with these two in the past and while I had no proof of either’s involvement in this case, Vinny’s dirty hands spoke for themselves and since Timmy just talks way too much there was no way he could be innocent.
While Vinny was obviously the muscle, the true brains behind this devious duo was the oft inquisitive Timmy, whose thirst for knowledge was only rivaled by his propensity to perpetually ask annoying questions. Some would say he was wise beyond his years but they would be wrong. It didn’t help that his prepubescent voice would cut through me like a dull butter knife. This time I was determined to not let Timmy throw me off my game as I had decided to utilize the art of stealth of which I am a master.
I barged into Miss Terry’s classroom unannounced and saw the fear in the eyes of Dirty Hands Palantino and Timmy The Mouth; a fear of recognition that they were busted. I knew that I had to act fast in interrogating those two criminals as I had successfully given the elderly security guard the slip and I knew he could wake up at anytime. Hovering over the two cohorts, who no doubt sat next to one another in order to plot and plan their devious schemes and not because their last names were Palantino and Palmer, I launched into my intense questioning.
It was like something out of a movie as I blasted them with one question after another. All they could do was sit there and cry hysterically, each tear betraying them more than the last. As I grinned in satisfaction at breaking them down I slowly became aware of a furry presence pressed upon the back of my neck.
I turned to find Miss Terry glaring while holding her terry teddy tautly. I don’t know how those boys managed to hand over the bear without my noticing but they are slick operators. I’m glad I was there to solve the case.
Miss Terry’s comment of “I cannot believe what you just did” was payment enough.
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