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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Patience (08/21/08)

TITLE: Anna's List
By Allison Egley
08/27/08


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"Mommy, how much longer?"

"Not much longer now, honey. There are only a few more people ahead of us in line."

"But we've been waiting forever!"

Mary tousled Anna's hair and smiled. They had been on their feet all day, running errands, and now it was finally time. Anna had been waiting all day for this moment.

"Do you think he'll take my list?" Anna asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Yes, I think he will."

"But what about..." Anna's face fell, as she looked at her crutch.

"Don't worry, Anna. He sees children like you all the time. He won't mind."

Mary's mind wandered to everything she had to do before the relatives arrived. The shopping, the baking, the cleaning... so much to do and so little time. Never mind. It would get done eventually.

"Mom, what's taking so long?"

"Well, he wants to make sure he spends time with each child. He wants to make them feel special."

Anna peered around the children ahead of her in line, and looked at the man. "Mom, is he real? Can he really do everything he says?"

Mary knew what she was thinking, and didn't want her to get her hopes up, but she also didn't want to crush them. A general answer would be best. "A lot of people say he can."

The line inched its way forward. Anna was next; but his helpers pushed her aside. "We're sorry. That's enough for today. You'll have to come back some other time."

Anna looked at him. He saw her crushed expression and the long line of children behind her. With a laugh, he waved his helpers off. "I think I have some more time."

Anna's face brightened as she hobbled towards him. "Jesus!"

He knelt down and encouraged her to come close. "Anna."

"You know my name!"

"Yes, Anna. I know everything about you. I know what you have on your list right there. Will you read it to me?"

Anna nodded her head solemnly. "I love Jesus because: He loves me. He cares for me...."

Mary's eyes misted as she listened to her beautiful daughter read her carefully crafted list. Her heart stopped as Anna read the last item on the list. "He can heal me." Mary knew He could, but would He do that for Anna?

Jesus held Anna close. "My little daughter, your faith has healed you." Jesus tossed aside her crutch, and Anna ran towards her mother on two good legs.

Anna tackled her mother with a hug. "Mommy! It's true! He can do everything He said."

"Yes... He can." She bent down and said something to Anna she had waited for years to say. "Now you run on home. I'll catch up in a minute."


********
Based on Mark 10:14b
He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." (NIV)


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This article has been read 747 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/29/08
Ah you got me. I was just waiting for the little girl to climb on Santa's lap. This was a very creative way to show patience.
Jan Ackerson 08/31/08
EXCELLENT! You played absolutely fair with the reader, but gave us a "gotcha" nevertheless.
Glynis Becker 08/31/08
Aww! This was so sweet and perfectly executed. Well done!
Dee Yoder 08/31/08
And I thought it was Santa! You know what? The way you presented this really gave me a notion of what it would have been like to be in the crowds waiting to see, to touch, to talk to Jesus. This is well-written. Love it!
Sharlyn Guthrie08/31/08
Very nice! I thought she was standing in line for Santa Claus at first (no doubt that was intentional!)
Arlene Showalter 08/31/08
Got me on this one! Super twist!
bty...Jesus IS worth waiting for!! :)
Patricia Turner08/31/08
Well, with all the errands, cooking, cleaning,etc. I was pretty sure it was...
The ending was a nice surprise. I love happy endings and this one was great!
Ellen Dodson09/01/08
Very smooth transition from the supposed Santa to Jesus. You also moved--smoothly glided-- us back over 2000 years from a supposed modern day experience. I'm glad you used a Santa analogy because I often wonder how kids (my daughter in particular) feel about God once they discover that Santa is a myth. Well-crafted transitions and an original idea. : )
Betsy Markman09/02/08
Very clever. Like everyone else, I was fooled. Good job.
Bella Rossiter09/06/08
What a precious story...Blessings, Bella