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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)
Meg picked up a small stone and tossed it into the murky pond outside the prison walls. Ripples fanned out in circles around the stone’s entrance into the water. She grabbed another rock, a bigger one, and threw it with greater force. The larger ripples and greater upheaval in the pond gave her a small measure of satisfaction.

“What a perfect picture of what Daddy did to our family,” she thought bitterly.

When he had done the unthinkable and run over a woman during one of his drinking binges, leaving her dead body on the street while he lapsed into an alcoholic stupor. The conviction of vehicular manslaughter, the relentless hounding by the media, the subsequent prison sentence, the whispering among her friends in middle school, the alienation … all of it had landed like a boulder in smooth water. The ripples that followed spread like metastasized cancer – grotesquely deforming every cell of their lives.

That had only been the beginning. Her mother’s debilitating depression, dependence on food stamps, the inability to pay for health insurance, life in shabby income-based apartments, the need for Meg to stay home and work instead of going to college…ripples. They may as well have been hit with a tsunami.

She sat down on the weathered bench next to the pond and turned her eyes to the prison gate. His sentence was up and he’d called last week, asking if she’d come pick him up today. Since Mom’s death, he literally had no one else to call. Whatever…she’d pick him up and drop him off at the homeless shelter.

She threw another rock. More ripples.

“How do you like that, Daddy?” she thought. “What you did made all our lives a living nightmare these past fifteen years. You may think you were the only one to pay for your crime, but we were punished, too. Big time.”

The gate finally swung open. Meg hardly recognized the man who walked toward her. Years of paying the price for his sin had aged him thirty years, not fifteen. They stared at each other in awkward silence, the father’s eyes brimming with a million unspoken confessions.

“Don’t hug me,” she thought. “Don’t even try.”

He seemed to get the message and just stood there.

“Hey, Meg. Thanks for coming. It’s good to see you. You sure haven’t changed much,” he smiled.

“Yeah, well, you have. You ready?”

She turned toward her car.

Her father made a valiant attempt at small talk in the car. It seemed an eternity before they finally pulled up to the shelter and the man opened the door and got out. Before closing his door, he leaned in and said, “Thank you, Meg. I know you’re angry with me for everything that’s happened, and I don’t blame you. I just want you to know… I’m sorry. I’ve made peace with God, Meg, and I’d like to make peace with you, too. Do you think that’s possible?”

Meg glanced at his eyes and saw remorse, sorrow, and a grief that flowed from genuine repentance. He waited, longing for reconciliation, and then reluctantly closed the door.

Meg drove on, putting all her weight on the gas pedal and tightening her hands into painful fists around the steering wheel. She headed out of town, away from the pain, the confusion, the anger. She finally pulled over, tears making it almost impossible to drive.

“What kind of Christian am I, anyway?” she sobbed. “He’s my father! I’m supposed to love and forgive him, Lord, but I can’t. I’m sorry, I just cannot do that.”

She sat there in the silence, as ripples from eternity past lapped gently against the hard edges of her heart ….

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Another time, on a far away hill, the Creator of all hurled a very different stone into the pond of humanity. The Rock was a man, the Son of God, hung on a cross for crimes He did not commit. His blood pooled at the foot of that tree, and when he breathed his last words, “It is finished,” ripples, strong and mighty, shook the earth and tore the veil that separated man from God. The ripples flowed from a heart of compassion for His children. A tsunami of love began in that moment and will continue to stir the waters of hearts on into eternity…. pardoning the guilty, setting captives free, encircling His beloved with love and forgiveness.

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Meg exhaled a great cleansing breath…and headed back into town.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joy Faire Stewart
07/29/11
Love the ripples analogy and working into a wonderful devotional. Great writing!
C D Swanson 
07/29/11
Excellent story with forgiveness as the theme. I loved the cascading and rippling effects from the rock that Meg threw into the pond & then from "The Rock" who hung on a tree/cross for us, and His ultimate sacrifice, and how He forgave us all. Loved it, good read and excellent message. God Bless you~
Cheryl von Drehle
07/30/11
Compelling metaphors in a very well written story that held my attention. You did a good job of touching emotions without becoming melodramatic. Great job!
Amica Joy
08/01/11
This is a great story. Meg's heartbreak feels so very real. The pain sin incurrs was amazingly well described. And the power of atonement and reconciliation that have a counteracting rippling effect were very well placed in this story. A dead relationship between a daugther and her dad coming alive again because Jesus conquered the sting of death and forgave all sin. The price you have to pay for all of this, is true Gospel. So many get tempted into testimonials that end like this: "... and then they lived happily ever after", which is a "fabric softener" approach that puts sugar icing on all human drama and call's it grace. You didn't do that. Sin remains sin, pain remains pain and living with the consequences and learning to love each other inspite of all the pain remains a reality - but all with the help, the love and the atoning power of Christ.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/04/11
Powerful images and insights into your MC. You've pulled no punches here, and you've opened up a promise of healing without falling into the trap of wrapping it all up inside this word limit. There's a book here: to trace the crime; the trial; the regret at every level and the details of the struggles this family have been forced into; how dad made his peace (and his inner struggles) with God, and then the steps into reconciliation.
You show such skill in profiling inner turmoil that I'm sure it would bless every reader. (And here you were, wondering about what to apply to next week's topic - sorry about that, Chief...)
Blessings on you.
Linda Goergen
08/04/11
Congratulations on your second place win - this wonderfully written story of forgiveness is so deserving of the win!!! Great job!
Noel Mitaxa 
08/04/11
And now for that book I mentioned..... Congratulations on your second placing.
Beth LaBuff 
08/05/11
You've packed this with emotion and your message is like the phoenix rising from the ashes of their lives. This is wonderful, Brenda! Super congrats on your ribbon!
Helen Clancy
08/07/11
I enjoyed reading this story, which quickly captured and held my attention. The imagry of the ripples is very effective, and the emotions between the father and child are very powerful.
An excellent story which deserves its 2nd place in the writing competition!