The Official Writing Challenge
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Well done. You made this historic account a very personal one, by applying it to your own situation today. Just one or two minor mistakes, but very interesting and well written.
05/10/07
The old saying still prevails: "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Good information here and well presented.
This was quite interesting. I didn't know any of this. You might want to try to "show" a little bit more, instead of telling facts. I think that would draw the reader in a little more. I like the ending, and the way you tied it into the rest of the piece. Nicely done.
05/13/07
"Still Waters Run Deep," so very true. Enjoyed this bit of history combined with a message.
05/15/07
Powerful ending paragraphs.
It was worth reading just to get to the last couple of paragraphs. Very nicely done!
05/15/07
Great mixture of past and present. Very touching how the two stories correlate. Very enjoyable read. Keep writing.