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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HISTORICAL genre (05/03/07)

TITLE: Ponce de Leon
By Brian Pilling
05/06/07


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Ponce de Leon, somewhere in South Florida is still searching for the fountain of youth.

The man in a funny hat and a tropical flowered shirt is as sure he is the famous explorer as you believe you’re the guy pictured on your driver’s license, but I think he said his real name is Leon.

Anyway after a morning of channel surfing, the cocktail of boredom and blazing yellow sun had Ponce wandering out of the reeds of the Ft. Lauderdale canal he had fallen into. Only minutes later a Marilyn Monroe look a like is pulling him out of the water. Ponce seeing her backyard fountain, the one her husband had bought at the Home Depot for eighty nine dollars and odd cents, puts two and two together and cried and laughed all at once “at last.”

Marilyn laughed too, more from fear, “What, what?”

Ponce cried, “It’s all so clear, your beauty, and the fountain.”

Marilyn was frantic, “I don’t get it.”

“I’ve been searching all my life for this moment,” Ponce said, shivering with excitement.

Marilyn believing he’s caught a chill grabs him a change of clothes off the line. Marilyn was now giggling like a school girl. Marilyn asked him, "do you know Jesus?

Ponce said, "oh yes. And Methusala too!"

Marilyn asked innocently, "I can't tell whether you are sane or crazy?"

Ponce said, "Thank the Lord, our faith cannot be measured that way."

Marilyn asked, "Then how?"

Ponce said "The King James Version says it this way.

2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

And James 5

7 Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain.

8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.

9 Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door."


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 05/13/07
This is a very clever idea, and I believe you have the seeds of a good story here.

It's a bit confusing, though...lots of tense switches and problems with sentence structure made me a bit unclear what was going on.

I'd encourage you to come back to this one, and keep at it. It's worth a second go-round.