The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/06/05
Nicely done. I was right there with you. I suspect this would be even more realistic without the restriction of 750 words.
You've painted the scene so well. A good story. My only suggestion: try avoiding starting several sentences with "I" - just adds more interest if you can. Well done.
12/06/05
Great insight into the farmer's life. One typo: "On this spring morning, we going to see how our cows had fared during the night." - I think you missed "were" in there. But this was a delightful story!
12/07/05
Good storytelling, and I loved your last sentence.
12/08/05
Your word pictures were outstanding, from the first to the last paragraph.
I almost wondered at the lack of mention of a mother in the story...was the reference to mothers and fathers a hint about this, that Mom was no longer with them? And did the statement about birth and death, new birth and a seed dying, and hardship and renewal tie in with Mom's absence, maybe the boy was born as Mom died? Just some questions, questions that could be answered if the pesky word count did not get in the way.
I won't repeat what the others have said...I noticed the typo, too, but I didn't have problems with the "I" beginnings. This was beautiful!
12/10/05
I love the conclusion you came to in the end. Your descriptions are great. Well done!
This ought to be submitted to Riders and Reapers! It's awesome! All too true about prairie spring and calving.
I could enter into this boy's mind and heart...no small thing. You did a good job with this story!
12/12/05
This was a really wonderful story. I followed along with ease. Congratulations on your win! God bless ya, littlelight