The Official Writing Challenge
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As a beginner writer, I understood the "Allusion" from the start and it was an fun story.

I am wondering, however,the overall feel for the story is light-hearted, yet the subject is very serious. To me,it feels incongruent and out of place. Perhaps you could have made it just a mis-understanding on the MC's part. Could she be his sister-Julia or Judy?

Creative story, and so apt to be true!

12/01/09
Oh dear, these sort of stories about failing pastors disturbs me. Also brings to mind Paul's words to take heed lest we ourselves fall.

Thanks for sharing this difficult subject piece. Colin
Unfortunately, this happens all too often. I understand your reason for writing parts of the story in a lighthearted manner; it would be so easy to be outraged and self-righteous, yet the MC behaved in a Christ-like manner.
12/01/09
i first thought you were using story to teach how the devil creates doubt in our minds when we encounter something that doesn't seem right. however, great story ending, to a horrible situation.
I agree that this is a very serious subject, and the approach seemed a little lighthearted - but overall very well written.
12/01/09
First off, outstanding writing and title, great treatment of the topic.
I am challenged by the article for a couple of different reasons (which is not necessarily a bad thing. I love writing that challenges me!)
You gave us a two-for-one, two powerful messages in one article. The constraints of the word count forced a clipped resolution, which left me feeling a little deprived given the extraordinary job you did of setting us up for the climactic resolution, I would have loved to see the 1000-1200 word version of this entry.
I think you did a spectacular job of setting up the message regarding gossip/snoopiness, therefore the quick turn to an equally powerful message regarding appearance of evil and adultery, and the consequent validation of snoopy-ness and gossip created a "net neutral" for me that belied the points of conviction I felt early. You are very successful in delivering a relate-able MC.
The unintended overall result for me was a message that snoopy-ness and gossip of the heart (judging on appearances) is a sin...sometimes...
Nonetheless, I want to reiterate that I LOVED the writing, the details and the humor...the mixed message just ended up leaving me cold rather than convicted. Great writing as always!
12/02/09
I enjoyed the writing, and the voice of the narrator, very much.

I did feel that the circumstances seemed a bit contrived. Would a pastor really like his lover to such a public place as a mall? And what were the circumstances that put the narrator at the back of the church with the two of them?

Superb title, by the way, and lots of very good writing.
12/02/09
Really good plot-line and an totally likable MC. Maybe a little too many "I"s, especially in the opening paragraphs. Put me in the action instead of telling me about it. Liked the overall attitude and the creative sprinkling of the topic throughout.