The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/18/08
Wow! Your story is amazing. Your writing is captivating and your ending gave me chills. "“Raise her the same way I am raising you. I will be your daddy example.” I held her close, and wept. God had whispered to me." This is beautiful!
04/21/08
This was precious. I loved it!
04/21/08
Beautiful. Your main character is very realistic. I'd love to hear more from him!
04/21/08
I'd never have guessed that this was fiction, written by a woman. You had me totally convinced--super!

An observation: this is a pretty typical "young father" tale, in need of a twist of some sort to make it stand out. You're a great writer--no need to be even faintly predictable.

However, your last few paragraphs have a great WOW factor. Very nicely done.
You portrayed the God moment vividly. Even though new fatherhood is the tale many times told, it is new every time for a new daddy.
04/21/08
How do you properly compliment a woman on how great a man she would be?

Marita, you captured the emotions exactly as I have felt them in my own life.

Well written, although I agree with the comment about needing a twist to keep it unpredictable. You are too good of a writer to not keep us guessing all the way through.

But that didn't keep this one from greatness.
Well done, I too am in awe of the POV from a woman. Keep it up!
Excellent job of putting yourself into a male point of view. It sort of reminded me of the entry that I wrote from the perspective of a pregnant woman, only this is written much better and is more touching. :)

No matter what a person's childhood is like, if they have accepted God into their heart, then they have the perfect fatherly example to learn from.

Thank you for sharing, Marita.
04/23/08
Mari, I know you wanted to stay true to your husband's story and I think you did a great job doing that. It is so tender and sweet. Excellent writing!
Laury
04/23/08
Awesome Mari... did you really hit him??? LOL I didn't think you needed a twist. You had me from the first word to the last. Excellent writing.
04/23/08
What amazes me is that your husband was so sure about being a father at such a young age! That always blows me away because it seems more "natural" to hear women express that sentiment and I get all gooey when a man feels that way. I just know he's been a wonderful father to his kids. What a beautiful blessing and isn't God amazing in all he can do; in spite of early life experiences.
04/23/08
Then it happened…the warm whisper in my ear. My Abba Father spoke gently to me. “Raise her the same way I am raising you. I will be your daddy example.”
No words to describe how deeply this touched me.
04/23/08
I love how you did this from your husbands POV. What a beautiful, special story!
04/23/08
This is great, one of my favorites for this week! I love the POV and especially your title and the last line. God Whispers-what wonderful words. I loved the details you had here, like the t-shirt that read "I'm gonna be a daddy" and the nurse asking him to step out of the room. Nice job! ^_^
Beautiful! You definitely had me fooled on the MC's gender even though I knew. Super job Marita.