The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/10/08
This brought tears to my eyes. The image was strong and the feelings deep. Good job!
04/10/08
This is very beautiful and tender. I love your use of the ocean, something your grandma loved, in your poem. I can almost hear the ocean in this, your descriptions are wonderful. I like this, "As if a chain of dominos -- Was knocked away from my embrace…" You've used some strong words too that make this excellent (dirge, mingled, etc.) . This tribute to your grandma is poignant and touching.
This is so precious, so beautiful. I live on the beach so you can imagine how it affected me. Tremendous entry!
04/10/08
Well done! Great imagery, and flow.. and feeling. This is a keeper! Great skilled writing here.
04/13/08
My heart is stinging with my pain,
But it’s not mingled with despair,
Because forever is our hope:
We can’t imagine all that God’s prepared…

Absolutely beautiful. Well done.

Wow. I felt both sadness and joy in this. You are a gifted writer, and this poem demonstrates your gift.

I appreciate you sharing this, and I am sure that your grandmother is looking down smiling at you and this wonderful tribute to her.
Wonderful message of hope and beautifully written. I enjoyed reading it aloud. Perfect!
04/14/08
I appreciate your use of near rhymes to avoid forced or awkward constructions, and your deliberate change of meter to make the reader slow down and catch the climax of your poem. Very well done.
04/14/08
Lovely poem. Descriptive and beautiful. Thanks for sharing!