Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Every Dark Cloud has a Silver Lining" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (02/28/08)

TITLE: Ray's Unexpected Visitor
By
03/04/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Ray had always been afraid of the dark. It all started when a relative frightened him while staying overnight with the family one cold, December day. The weather was so bad that Uncle Joe had to stay overnight.

A blizzard was in the making, so good old Uncle Joe stayed in the extra bedroom, upstairs next to Ray. Ray was only ten years old at the time and was unaware of Uncle Joe’s prankster ways.

Everyone was in bed that night by eleven, except for Uncle Joe. Unbeknownst to Ray, the strange uncle liked to scare children. Ray’s parents pulled him aside earlier and made a point of not doing such a thing to Ray because Ray was a very sensitive child and was frightened easily.

Well, Uncle Ray had a habit of not listening to anyone, so that night he tiptoed toward Ray’s bedroom, slowly opened the door and made some ghostly sounds. Ray was a light sleeper and practically jumped out of bed when he heard the strange noise.

Later, the next morning Uncle Ray was severely criticized and told not to come back for a very long time…

And so it was on another December night after coming home from a hard day’s work at the bank, that those long ago fears would once again surface...

He had just finished his microwave meal, cleaned up the kitchen a bit, when he heard someone knocking at the front door.

Being a bachelor, he seldom had anyone over so the knocking on the door gave him a jolt.

Cautiously, he went to the door, looked through the small peep hole and saw nothing. He could see no one standing there, so he looked a second time.

This time he saw to the right something on the floor, about ten feet away—a box placed neatly on the floor.

“Could be for my neighbor,” he thought out loud. “Yes, probably for John Milestone. He always gets packages.”

So, he went back to the kitchen and began getting things ready for the next day. That’s when he heard another knock.

He quickly returned to the door and once again looked through the peep hole. Again, he could see nothing except for a beautiful red scarf and it was lying on top of the package.

Thinking that the scarf and the package were meant for his neighbor, he sighed and went to the living room and put on the TV.

Before he could sit down, he heard a third knock. His nerves were becoming unhinged and fears began flooding his brain. “What if it’s a maniac, someone who wants to hurt me?”

Cautiously he went once again to the door and as soon as he saw the figure before him, his fears subsided and his frown of fear turned to a face of joy. It was Gloria from the bank—a woman he had been training for several months.

As soon as he opened the door he knew why she was there. "Hi Ray! Would you like some company? Got some snacks from Joe’s Deli…”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 341 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shirley McClay 03/07/08
Fun story! Didn't see that ending coming!
Verna Cole Mitchell 03/07/08
I liked your MC's silver lining lots better than his Uncle Joe. You did a good job at building up suspense in your story.
c clemons03/11/08
Good writing, good form but the story made no sense, but maybe I'm just not getting it. Good job on the writing though.