The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Your descriptions are vivid and the dialogue is really good. I enjoyed all the little quips that cahracterized lawrence and Lorraine. I wasn't sure why or how Lorraine made the transition from the recliner to the easy chair. In general, I had a difficult time finding the point or plot of the story. I think it has real potential, though!
09/15/06
Strange that somebody else noticed the switch from recliner to easy chair - I did too, and of course there is no real message here except that retirement is great, and your own garden spot is extra specially great...and I did enjoy the visit to the garden. Thanks. Nicely done.
09/16/06
Nice descriptions and vivid writing. Some transition problems as others already noted. Another thing -- I didn't really get the point of your story. I continued to read looking for something that seemed missing. But your imagery was very vivid and well presented. God bless! :)
09/17/06
Can't say I would get as much joy out of working a garden as they obviously did. Their hard work and generosity is to be greatly admired. Good examples to us. Thanks.
09/18/06
Nice little slice of life! Enjoyed the characters. Nice job!