The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/16/06
Very lovely story! I had to laugh at your description of the garden being the recipient of the dog digging, the bunny munching, the wandering soccer ball -- I almost thought you were describing OUR garden last year! You had some run-on sentences that could have made the story flow much more if they had been shortened. Shorter sentences seem to be more reader-friendly! Otherwise, it was a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing! :)
09/17/06
I sympathize with the young mother and her feeble efforts at a garden. One note: when quoting the nursery rhyme, it should be in quotation marks. Good story.
I liked this very much. It was interesting and had a good spiritual truth. (As I gathered tomatoes yesterday, I was frightened by a rabbit, eating a tomato on a low vine. Considering the speed with which he left, I think he was more frighteded by me!)