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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PICNIC - deadline 7-12-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/05/12)
When you’re standing alone
No one to call your own.

It is no picnic.

When you crying out in pain
Slowly driving you insane.

It is no picnic.

You feel that your life is grim
All that once was bright is dim.
The sin you bear pulls you down
Coated with shame you’re drown.

What to do and where to go
As your life sways to and fro.
It seems like no way out
Your sinful words have no clout.

Given up can’t find the way
Your ears blind to all He says?

It is no picnic.

In a void you exist
All his love you have missed.

It is no picnic.

Look around something’s odd
You hear the sounds of God.
He asks you for your life
Taking away all your strife.

God is here He’ll show the way
He will be here night and day.
With His love you will see
All the things meant to be.

Forgiveness you have gained
Because He stopped the sinful rain

Now that’s a picnic!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
07/13/12
Amen & Amen to this lovely poem exhalting the Lord our God. Beautifully done.

God Bless~
Mildred Sheldon
07/14/12
Amen! I so agree that life without God is no picnic, but with Him life becomes the finest of picnics.
Patsy Hallum 
07/14/12
Well done! Beautiful message of salvation and what it's like to be without it!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/16/12
This is a powerful piece and I could really relate to most of it. The part about crying out in pain really touched a familiar chord.

I noticed that a couple of times it seemed you had the wrong you like in you crying out might sound better like when you're crying out or when you cry out. Also with the you're drown should be you're drowning or you drown.

But those are tiny things and every story or poem could be polished endlessly. I love the message. it can feel so overwhelming in the world today. You took a different twist on the topic too which made the poem more poignant. Good job.