Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)
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TITLE: Wealth in Apple Butter | Previous Challenge Entry
By darlene thompson
05/03/12 -
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worked with the U.S. Forest Service and
farmed part-time. My mother worked hard as a housewife. We had a 70-year-old farmhouse with several acres of land. Most of our meals were made from the produce of our land.
During autumn, we canned all the vegetables from summer, including jams and jellies and apple butter. Nothing smelled better or took longer to make than apple butter. It require a large black vat with a roaring fire and hours of stirring to blend all the spices.
All the hard work made the apple butter worthwhile. Several Saturdays a month my mother filled our home with the distinct aromas of nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice and apple butter. After several hours, my mother had whipped all the ingredients into several dozens of incredible apple butter cookies. After breakfast, she usually allowed us to have one or two of these warm delights.
We may not have had all the modern material riches of the world but we had something very special. We had our family, love and hard work, the land that we enjoyed and fed us, and of course, we had my mother's special apple butter cookies. Indeed, our family was very rich!
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Thank you. Nicely done.
God Bless~
Try working on doing more showing instead of telling. For example this sentence My mom labored in the kitchens from morning until night, her hands hurried from the task of washing dishes to cooking dinner. This isn't a great example But I hope it helps some. Try to close your eyes and picture what you are saying, then include little details to paint a picture for the reader like "Sweat dripped down her face as she kneaded the bread."
You did a nice job of writing on topic and you took your reader back to a simpler time in life.