Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Pen is Mightier than the Sword (04/08/10)
-
TITLE: Savannah | Previous Challenge Entry
By Angela King
04/09/10 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
And then I met him, a kindly old man who carried a tattered copy of the Holy Bible in his right hand and a canteen of a similar condition in his left. He offered that “Gideon” was his name, as he nodded politely in my direction. He noticed the perspiration drenching my shirt and offered me his precious drink—and without hesitation, I graciously accepted the offer.
He was heading toward Savannah—as was I—and he asked if we could travel on together. “I’d be much obliged,” I answered, as we began our leisurely stroll toward town. He was a friendly grandfather-type of man and I longed for someone to talk with as I made my way to my destination.
Our conversation began immediately as he talked about his grandparents—former slaves on a rundown plantation not 2 miles away. “They was hard workers—God-fearin’ folk,” Gideon stated with pride as he gripped his bible firmly but gently. He later confided that his bible had been their prized possession, passed through the generations as each delicately scripted name testified.
As we continued our conversation, we drew closer to the outskirts of Savannah. I had almost wished we hadn’t reached our destination, as I could have listened to Gideon’s recollections for hours. But we had arrived. And as we strolled down the main street, we felt hundreds of eyes following our every move and saw mouths drop at the sight of us. We trudged on together—our destination the same.
The protest rally was set to begin at dusk and many people—mostly African-American—came in the name of peace. But in the distance, the smoke from a burning cross wafted in the sky and we knew that evil lingered in the background. If Gideon was affected by this revelation, it didn’t show on his weathered face. He introduced me—a young, white undergraduate—as his friend. And I knew he meant it.
Gideon spoke to the crowd, quoting scripture that called them to love their neighbor. He held up his most prized possession—in the midst of the social turmoil that encompassed them--and truly believed that good would one day triumph over evil. He rested in the truth of the words printed in that bible, much as his ancestors had in the years before him. Perhaps the pen was indeed mightier than the sword.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
A great reminder that neither age nor color of skin can separate us or prevent us from showing love to all of God's people.
There may have been more "tell" than "show" in parts of this.
I have a thread in the forums (link at the top of the page) called "Jan's Writing Basics", aimed toward beginning and intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there!
I love the way you interpreted the topic phrase--you really captured its meaning without over-literalness.
I felt the heat, I saw the crowd, and I walked with you. It's hard to squeeze in details & give plot & keep it under 750 words, but the better you get at it the closer to the next round you hop. In my opinion. :)
Nice interpretation of topic & overall very well done.
They seemed to accept each other as ageless-colorless traveling companions and kindred spirits!
If only we could see one another in such a manner.
Thank You for a splendid story. God's blessings.
Something I've learned on FW to save words and force me to think of how to phrase things in a more creative way. If you look through and remove the "as" and "had" words and try to restructure your sentences without them, you can form stronger visual phrases and save words too.
Good job on the topic.
mona
Congratulations on your winning piece. The beginning swooped me into the picture....I felt the heat of day as you described well the walk into the city. Plus your characters' converstions were realistic.