The Official Writing Challenge
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03/01/06
Very well done.
Tiffanie didn't seem like someone I would want advising me! Good thing she had someone like Becky that stayed a true blue friend throughout. I liked the last two paragraphs, the reference to the Bible as "the best advice articles ever written." You did a very good job here!
03/03/06
I like this! Very ironic, that the friend is wiser than the advice columnist. I think you could un-hyphenate some of your hyphenated words, but that's very minor. This is a very sweet piece.
Good story! Lots of practical life lessons to be learned here! I agree...great irony about the advice columnist needing advice! :)
03/03/06
For all its worth... I think Beck should be the columnist.... Good job Tim. Having a grip through the whole works of "Most worldly Views" then having to taste their own medicine... well done.
03/04/06
I like the set-up and the message. Since you wanted brutal feedback I will list a few things that didn't quite work for me. 1st was the dialect. It didn't quite flow right. It didn't say "uninterested advice columnist" but more like "I love da Bears". lol! Dialect is very hard to do in a way that doesn't make it noticable. I think this missed by just a touch. 2nd, Becky sounded female. There was caring and compassion and emotion behind her character. Dear Dori didn't. She seemed very male. Even a mean woman is still a woman and so must talk / react like one. That said, I still liked the style, the movement, the balance, and definately the message. So, keep at it! :-)
I agree...Tiffany seemed a little rough around the edges for an advice columnist. However, I liked your portrayal of her learning a valuable lesson. I also liked the way it ended. Good job.
03/04/06
I like it. Pretty smooth writing- good dialogue. I agree with Maxx on the dialect attempt. In a way, it was just that Dori seemed mean for no reason and that made it hard to care about her. Perhaps if there were a hint as to why she was so bitter/flippant, that would have helped (ie. "Why should I care about them? No one care about me when I was single and pregnant?") Still, very good writing. I enjoyed reading it.
03/04/06
Now that's grace ... she DIDN'T get a taste of her own medicine!

Great plot.
03/05/06
A good lesson here, well done. A touch of humor with the truth.
03/05/06
Interesting...nice touch leaving the end unresolved.
03/05/06
Yep, I like this one...the only suggestion I have (from a female point of view, regarding Tiff) is that she would check her HAIR first, even before the eyeliner and re-adjustment to show off what she considered her better assets. THEN she would check her lipstick - probably freshen it. With her character too, she'd probably also freshen up with perfume since this would complete the whole sensory thing in making an 'impression'.
This is a good piece. Creative thinking.

I have to agree with Maxx, in that the main character is very masculine. Only when I reached the part of the eye-liner did I realize that this person was female. Also, more description should be given to feminine traits like hair lipstick, probably shoes, etc. That will describe her better.

On the whole a good piece.