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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER (don’t write about the song) (04/30/15)
Before The Rooster Crows



Startled by the shrill sound of the alarm Sheree’s head jerks from her pillow with whiplash force. Reaching blindly for her noisy bedside companion, she knocks it off the nightstand and it continues its feverish pitch from the floor. Still disoriented from sleep she has to hunt for it several moments before finding and silencing it.



Mind still foggy with sleep, Sheree dangles her feet over the side of the bed, and sits quietly to orient herself to the darkened room dimly lit only by a small night light in the corner behind the couch.



Hubby, Morris, aroused by all the ruckus with the alarm clock, mumbled sleepily, “Why do you insist on getting up at this ungodly hour any way?” Not waiting for an answer, he pulls the covers over his head as he rolls over with a heavy sigh and soon resumes the song of sleep as he snores loudly underneath the covers.



Glancing at the large red numbers glaring back at her in the darkness, 4:00 a.m. did seem a bit extreme, Sheree thought, but it’s the only time she can find that will go by uninterrupted by life: husband, children, friends, aging parents, cooking, cleaning, working, traffic, banking, shopping, texting, tweeting, facebook, instagram and the like.



At 4:00 a.m. most of Sheree’s family, friends, and associates are still deep in REM sleep which is where she was before being abruptly awakened by her alarm clock.



Nevertheless, Sheree has an appointment with her Best Friend, Jesus and she intends to keep it. Dragging herself up, she heads over to the sink in the adjacent bathroom and begins her morning ritual washing sleep from her eyes and sludge from her mouth to help her wake up.



By the time Sheree walks across the hall to her quiet space she’s fully alert and excitedly anticipates her time with Jesus! Coming boldly before His throne, she enters His presence making a joyful noise as she sings songs of thanksgiving and praises to Him! Praising Him for His omniscience, omnipotence and ever presence she is reminded that He never leaves nor forsakes her, there’s no problem He can’t solve, there’s no power greater than His, and He can do anything because He’s not hindered by earth realm circumstances or confined to earth realm time frames. He is God!



During this time as Sheree is reminded of Who God is, she becomes acutely aware of her own sinfulness. Confessing, she asks, “Lord will You forgive me for the sin in my life and make me more like You?” Believing God to be faithful and just to forgive her sins, Sheree then confidently makes her requests. Interceding for others before petitioning for herself to avoid praying selfishly she pours her heart out to God trusting Him to hear and answer her prayers.




The time spent talking and listening to Jesus, gives Sheree great hope for successfully handling the issues of life each day brings. There is such comfort and peace in His presence that Sheree strives to meet Him here every day where she expresses her love for Him as He pours the balm of His peace on her soul. Not only is Sheree comforted during her time with Jesus, but she is also empowered to live her life as an effect verbal and lifestyle witness of His glory!




Time seems to stand still while Sheree is in intimate communion with Jesus and way too soon she hears the neighbor’s rooster crow like clockwork as the sun begins to peek over the east horizon, and she knows that an hour has passed and it’s now time to prepare for work.



As she leaves her quiet room remembering her husbands question about why she gets up at such an ungodly time, she honors her Friend Jesus with these words;




“Lord, You’ve given me 24 hours in each day,

So I seek Thee in how to spend that time Your way.



Though I’ve got things to do, places to go and people to see,

First things first, decent and in order I must spend some time with Thee.



With Your favor each new day early do I rise,

For only by Your grace can I open my eyes.



So a moment of each day, I will grant to Thee,

My Creator with Whom I will spend eternity.



Show me Lord a time, show me a place,

And I will vow daily to seek Your Face.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
05/07/15
Love the way you presented the topic! Well done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/07/15
I enjoyed this piece. You did a nice job of combining a testimony with a poem. It's not always easy to do, but I think it worked well here. Your beginning showed the conflict that many of us wrestle with and sometimes the clock can come out the victor. I'm not a morning get person, but you've opened my eyes and I definitely need to focus on praying first thing. Then, I believe I'll be able to complete the plans God has for me.

It can be quite difficult to write in the present tense. I noticed you slipped into the past tense a few times. The first example is when hubby responded instead of responds. I also noticed you are missing commas sometimes, particularly after an introductory clause. For example:
Startled by the shrill sound of the alarm, Sheree’s head jerks from her pillow.
Just that tiny comma can make it easier to read.

I liked how you showed in spots how and what the MC prayed. Some people have no idea how to pray and I like pieces that show it. I think you could have done it even more while mixing in actions and emotions. For example: Squinting to see the red glow of the alarm, she nibbled on her lip. I guess four AM is pretty early, but this prayer time gives me hope for the day ahead. Bowing her head she clasped her hands. Thank you, Jesus, for another glorious day.

You definitely nailed the topic. I could feel the genuine love in your words. The message is perfect for today's world. It can be so easy to get caught up in the problems and busyness. Praying definitely makes a huge difference in how the day goes and how we perceive the events of the day. I did like your poetic prayer at the end. It filled me with hope and left me with a sense of peace.
Pat Small
05/08/15
Excellent. I noticed a few small errors but they can be corrected. A very convicting piece.
Jan Ackerson
05/12/15
You did very well with imagery--I could easily imagine this early morning scene as rendered in your first several paragraphs.

Many of your sentences have a very similar structure--an introductory phrase describing a character or her action, then the part of the sentence containing the main subject and verb. While there's nothing wrong with this sentence structure, it begins to give your piece an overall 'sameness' that is somewhat distracting. Your first seven sentences all have this same structure, as do several other sentences in the entry.

Avoid the use of exclamation points in narrative--they're best reserved for excited utterances. Within the narrative, it's best to use strong word choices, rather than punctuation, to indicate strong emotion.

In your poetic couplets that close the piece, work on being more consistent with meter.

I loved reading about this character's strong desire for time in prayer--this came across loud and clear.