The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/12/12
M-m-m-m-m! Reading about your yummy picnic food in the first paragraph made my mouth water! I've never had egg salad stuffed tomatoes, but I may try making them sometime! And I do love potato salad and chocolate chip cookies! :)

One suggestion I have is that it would have been better to leave off the definition of the word "picnic" to start your story. It would have been better to begin with the second sentence instead.

I did appreciate your thoughts on fellowship with Jesus and with Christian friends.
07/13/12
Wonderful depiction of the fellowship and the relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Nicely done, and great imagery along with the "food" that was clearly well described.

Good job. Thank you.

God bless~
This is a nice devotion. I like how you shared a moment in your life and then found a scripture to reinforce your message.

My main suggestion would be to eliminate the definition of picnic as probably everyone knows what a picnic is.

The ending was great. I liked your idea of having a picnic with God. I go on midnight walks with him and it is one of my favorite parts of the day. Nice job.
What an amazing story. I loved it and tomatoes stuffed with egg salad is something I plan on trying. What a great story, and I agree with the remark about this being a wonderful story for children.