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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Guard Your Heart (06/08/12)

TITLE: The Last Brick
By Kimberly Thomas
06/10/12


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THE LAST BRICK

Dear God, meeting like this is becoming a habit that I know pleases you. The divorce was rough, and I thank you I made it through. Now I have another problem. I hear you chuckling, Lord; that is not nice! I seriously have a problem. My mother wants me to find friends that are going through ďthe same situationĒ I am. I really donít have time, but she wonít leave me alone. Can you please handle that for me?

Dear God, thanks for nothing. Here I am at the stupid singlesí Bible study, and you let me be late. That was really embarrassing, Lord. But, I handled that problem myself; I just smiled through it all. Father, that caused another conundrum, so I need your help (you know that chuckling thing is really getting annoying). That really nice looking man across the room with the shy smile and soft, brown eyesÖHe keeps looking at me, and I have a feeling he wants to talk. I honestly donít want to get involved. I have my three kids, my work as a teacher. I mean, you know Iím busy, and men are just trouble (no offense, Lord)! Anyway, Father, could you please distract that man so I can get out of here?

Dear God, I canít believe you put me in this position. Last time, you got me out of here without talking to that man. Now, Iím trying to be a good person; I promised Mom I would come to this crazy thing three times. The least you could do is make it easier. I know I was late again, but if I had been early, that nice looking man with the really nice name might have wanted to talk to me, so I had to be late. (Yes, Lord, I know I shouldnít have been nosy, but the groupís email had all those names on it, and I couldnít help looking them over; there werenít many guysí names. I wasnít looking for his, but it was the process of elimination.) Now look what you did, Lord! You let the only empty chair in the room be two down from his; not only that, you allowed the group leader to put us in groups of three, and he is in mine. Now heís waiting for me to give him my phone number. What are you thinking, God? God? Are you there? I hear you chuckling.

Dear God, Bill wonít quit calling me, and I keep trying to tell my heart to quit fluttering. Since you have control of that more than I do, will you please steady my heart, Lord. UmÖsmiling is the same as chuckling. You know, a girl has to guard her heart and stay focused on real life; feeling like a teenager is not real life!

Dear Father, now really! I havenít been kissed in a long time, but Iím telling you, Iím not ready for this. My heart is not ready. I have my three kids; I have work. Yes, I know itís summer, and Iím a teacher (you told me to be one). But, trust me; I know whatís best here. Rolling your eyes could be considered rude, Father. Iím just sayiní.

Dear Father, I have a really big problem this time. Bill and I had an argument. I accused him of being too guarded and challenged him to take down the last brick in the wall heís built around his heart. I know his divorce was extremely painful, but this is ridiculous. Arenít you glad that I listen to you? Otherwise, you would have two cautious people on your hands. Alright, Iím quite sure outright laughing is rude. I do listen to you; really I doÖon everything. Well, on almost everything. Anyway, could you help Bill not be too mad at me?

Oh, my God! Yes, Iím addressing you, Father, and not using it like an ďOMG.Ē You know teaching has its hazards, Lord. Anyway, how did you do that? The brick Bill gave me with that word ďLASTĒ carved into it was the BEST Valentineís present Iíve ever gotten! Thank you, Lord! Arenít you glad I guarded my heart so I could hear you every step of the way and didnít miss the blessing of this relationship? Father, you know I really like that deep chuckle you have.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 06/17/12
I loved the title and loved this piece. I found it to be clever, well written and so fresh. Beautifully done.

I loved the "last brick" Bill handed her. It made my heart smile!

GOD bless~
Charla Diehl 06/20/12
This read like a diary or journal with its casual entries about life's happenings. Liked the progression of the MC's heart and the sweet ending left me smiling.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/20/12
This is such a fun story. I could so relate. I love how you show the reader what it is like to have an intimate relationship with Jesus.

The tiny red ink I have is you use the word really a lot but it's really okay because it's a dialog and probably how you speak. You also used quite a few exclamation points which sometimes can actually diminish the effect you're trying to achieve. (and once you had it outside of the parentheses when I think it went with the phrase inside.)

I think this is a talented and creative take on the topics. it feels so real. I have no doubt that you do indeed have such a wonderful relationship with God. I think sharing it with the world is a beautiful way to witness to others.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/21/12
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level two! Happy dance!