The Official Writing Challenge
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I really enjoyed this! It has an authentic voice and wry humor. Be careful of it's / its. I was thoroughly entertained by this story.
I really enjoyed reading this! My favorite line was probably the one about the narrator's fifth "roommate...Black Mold."
That got me laughing!

Was interested to read about a "UK version of Wal-Mart." When I was over there back in the '70's, I saw no big supermarkets at all--only butcher shops, bakerys, fruiterers, and so on.

I enjoyed the title of this--it sparked my curiosity and somehow told me that this piece would be funny!
Much of your power in writing is contained in your ability to capture description with word pictures - I loved the black mold reference. The narration was simply a vehicle for the descriptive tone. Pretty good work. A peer editor would perfect it.