The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/15/06
I think the writing of this is good. I wasn't ready to stop being angry with the husband. I know, you only had 750 words! :o) If this was written by a woman, I would be surprised. Keep writing!
02/15/06
I also felt the change of heart was a tad quick. One more paragraph of pleasant memories would ease the transition. I like the Cardinals. ; - )
02/16/06
Nicely written and held my attention. The ending seemed abrupt, though, and a bit more transition would have been nice. But words are limited! Nice job.
Well told, beautiful wording. The images of the marriage counsellor as a dragon, the cardinal and its mate...all were perfectly woven together. Many men might not have gone for counselling. Suggests that there is hope for the marriage that he went. Now that I reread, yes, the ending suggests that this could be expanded into a longer story. She probably would not have capped her anger so neatly, especially if his transgression was adultery. You have a gift with imagery and description!