The Official Writing Challenge
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I remember watching this event on TV. The descriptions were good. You could have put in more selective details that would get the reader to feel the tension and awesome power of the volcano. I really liked the phrase "cathedral of silence".
Wow, I can't imagine seeing that kind of natural disaster in person. You did a great job at conveying the emotions you felt at the time (and now I really want to see the photos you took!).
I felt the action pick up toward the center of the piece, which is when my heart started racing. That event was quite a thing and you captured it well. I loved how you expressed the power of God. Interesting how little we have to mention Him to convey his presence.
I thought the title and ending worked very well. Thanks for sharing your memories. I enjoyed seeing this through your eyes.
This is a very well-done piece! It was quite descriptive, and you captured the tension, the electricity in the air, as neighbors were connected by nature's awesome display. I, too, would love to see your pictures.
Good job! It's hard to get it all in in 750 words; maybe start with the action of the volcano erupting and a little more about the Dr? Enjoyed this piece.
Iwas barely a teen when this happened and I remember it but not all of the details. I wasn't sure where you were going at first but then as I caught on my heart started racing and I found myself holding my breathe. I'm not really sure who Dr. Johnson was or why the MC was so intent on listening to the radio but you did a spectacular job describing a historical moment
I've been to see the destruction that Mt. St. Helen's faced. Amazing. And also the way it's recovering. I got goosebumps reading your account. I think I'll take our tornadoes any day to your volcanoes! Scary! Very scary!
i echo many of the comments already made, great piece electrifying story and some good description. I agree that leaving out the first paragraph or to about the picnic would not devalue the writing and might actually get it into gear quicker. The descriptions of the people watching natures power was brilliant... I too have know idea who the toast was for. Remember that your readers from different countries sometimes need what you feel is obvious actually spelt out :)
these are minor things and as a whole it is amazing!!
Very exciting story. Great job on the movement of this piece. Other than a few minor possible fixes here and there this story is well done!! Really grabbed my attention and kept me wondering what would happen next. Keep up the good work.
congratulations on 3rd placing in a great line up of entries.
a well deserved placing.