The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/08/11
Good Job on this nice poem! I loved the meaning for blowout used here. Different from the rest of the entries. Very good, very emotional.
Don't know why this hasn't been commented on so far. :) Thanks for sharing.
05/09/11
What a beautiful and bittersweet piece. Great imagery, and what a message.
This is so touching and a beautiful tribute. I'm sure every parent who has lost a child that reads this touching rhyme will have bittersweet memories pouring out.

It's hard to give red ink because this is obviously from your heart, but I did notice you rhymed love and above several times.

It's hard to describe such intense feelings a parent has for a child but you did a lovely job. Thank you for sharing.
05/11/11
wonderful.... great use of the theme and a poignant story within the poem.I can relate to it having lost my eldest daughter at the age of only 17.
you have done it beautifully tenderly and with warmth. The use of the birthday a=candles to denote the passing of the years is clever.
05/11/11
I thought of using birthday candles too-for blowing out:) anyways, I enjoyed your story-I have three sons, 9,11 and 13-so the ending tore at my heart.
05/13/11
congrats on placing at your level...

Keep writing :)
Congratulations for placing 10th in level one!