Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Year(s) (01/20/11)
TITLE: Pain Has an Element of Blank
By Ambrose W
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Cause you gotta figure, after two months, you’re not even at the point where you see each other every single day. You still have to call and see if you wanna make plans together on Saturday nights, cause it’s not implied yet. You’re still convincing all your buddies that you’re not gonna stop hanging out with them on account of this new chick in your life.
So, assuming you met this girl in your English class, there’s two days a week for sure that you’re seeing her. Then of course, you have to skip a class here or there to show her that you’ve got better things to do than show up just to see what sweater she’s wearing that day…which, of course, you don’t, but you gotta be strong.
Add to that a couple coffee dates, a few dinners out, a tailgating party with her friends, it’s safe to say that you’ve only seen this girl 20 times in the span of two months.
So after these 20 sightings, I think it’s ridiculous that a guy – no matter how cute this girl is – should think that anybody’s ready to buckle down and get serious.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with her. It’s not that you wouldn’t wanna get serious eventually. She’s great. You ask her for her English notes because they’re actually really good, and you like the way her handwriting looks. It’s not that bubble letter crap that girls train themselves to use in 7th grade. Hers is natural and kinda like cursive and printing rolled into one.
In fact, the thing you like the most about her, is that she made you like Emily Dickinson. Because now that you think about it, that chick was pretty deep too.
But still, even though she’s beautiful, and you’re excited to be with her, and smell her when she hugs you, it’s too soon to believe that she really likes you as much as she’s letting on.
I mean, you’re the sort of guy that is basically good at most things. You can change the oil in your car, you can get a decent grade in a class you don’t care about, and you can cook a spaghetti dinner.
But you’re not amazing at much. And it’s way too soon to tell her that.
You thought you were amazing, when you were like 10. Thought you were gonna be the President, or swim the English Channel, or at least be really awesome at video games.
Your father would catch you playing air guitar, fantasizing about being David Lee Roth. He would loosen his necktie and run his fingers through his comb-over.
“I swear, son. Would it kill you to give your old man some hope every now and then?”
And later when you wanted to play basketball so bad, but the coach wouldn’t let you off the bench because your lay-ups sucked.
Then later still in high school when the girl you were dating laughed when you said you really hoped to get voted Most Likely to Succeed.
The fact is that those people saying you weren’t great; they were probably right.
But you can’t tell this girl that now, because when you tell a girl you’re insecure, that’s an immediate deal-breaker. Girls don’t want to constantly coddle you, or roll their eyes and say things like: “Baby, I love you, when will you believe that?”
Oh they say they want sensitive, but they don’t really mean it. Maybe girls want the occasional poem, or some John Cusack in ‘High Fidelity’ type of neurotic-yet-adorable OCD tendencies. But they don’t want dudes with blubbering Daddy-issues. They want mysterious warriors, who ride motorcycles and play by their own rules. Everybody knows that.
But truth be told, when it comes right down to it, you're just tired of getting the wind knocked outta you every time you try to stand up to go someplace new. It’s like you've been running on fumes your whole life. And you feel too guilty to drag anybody down with you.
But she doesn’t know that yet.
And after two months of dating - no matter how perfect she is - it’s impossible to tell her that just cause you’re only 23, it doesn’t mean the years can’t wear on a guy.
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