The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/08
Whoa! That ending came out of no where. Very good story telling.
This story was attention-grabbing and holding. The ending was a shocker. I loved it that the brothers made up.
Great job catching your reader off guard with the ending. Very good descriptions and dialogue, too.
08/23/08
Good one! I never saw it coming.
08/23/08
I thought this was just going to be a sweet piece on sibling reconciliation, but you really caught me by surprise at the end - great job!
I like the action and pace of this piece, and you really gave us a whammy at the end! Be careful of sentence fragments. Otherwise, this is wonderful writing.
08/25/08
I like everything about this - the sharp, staccato voice, the natural dialog between the brothers, and the shocker ending.
Well that caught me completely off-guard and you had me from word one to the end. Great entry.
Wow! You shocked me with this one! I never saw that ending coming. Here I was grieving along with the boys over the loss of their dad, and then you totally turned the tables on me. Excellent job building up suspense and then shocking the reader with a surprise twist. I enjoyed this. :)
Excellent. I loved the twist in the tale :)
COngratulations on your EC, and welcome to faithwriters! I'm glad to see this win won't cause much spousal tension. :)
Great work! It was engaging and shocking at the end. I think you threw all of us off, nice work!

And congratulations on your win, you're movin' up!
08/28/08
Congratulations on your EC. Wow, that ending surprised me. This was very entertaining. Great job with the topic.
Engaging and a terrific twist of an ending! Very well done! Congratulations on your 1st place and EC wins!