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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)
“Pure Intentions”

“I love stories! Can we go listen to them? Please mother?”

The children were so excited, and you never knew what they would come home with. Sometimes their teacher would talk about the stars or the sky, and sometimes the flowers or grass. They always learned something, but it was never what you expected.

That is why for them it was so interesting.

For me… just for some time alone I was grateful. What could it hurt? They seemed so happy, so inspired. This all came to a halt when I opened the door, and to my surprise both my children were standing next to an authority figure whose face shone a stern look, and his anger was obviously disturbing Zack and Mariah.

Their heads were hanging down and tears fell to the ground like big raindrops. Zack looked up. I knew my children well, and I could detect sorrow mixed with anger as he said to me, “I’m so sorry, mother.”

“Dear God, what ever is wrong?” I suppose that the magistrate had his reasons, but I must admit his words didn’t quite match his frustration. I noticed that his grip on my children’s hands was turning their fingertips blue. Not wanting to offend him I didn’t say a word, but reached out, and took them into the house one by one. As I turned, and stood in the doorway he stated his complaint.

“You are hereby notified that under the law you must appear before a judge for your children’s actions against the people of our city.”

“What ever did they do, sir?” I couldn’t imagine for the life of me how two little children could cause the city so much trouble.

“Disturbing the peace!” he barked. “And consorting with a known criminal.” He continued.

“What?” How on God’s green earth could this be possible I wondered?

Sobs from the room behind me were by this time escaping the front doorway. “We didn’t know he was a bad man, mother. Really, we didn’t know.”

“It’s all right children. We’ll take care of everything.”

“I mean no disrespect, sir. My son and daughter are very upset. Please, tell me of their crime, for I’m sure this must be an innocent mistake.” My blood boiled within me to see my children so upset, but I held my tongue from my mother bear instincts.

“Your so called innocent children are spreading lies against the goodness of our fair people. Lies that will not go unpunished if they do not stop this instant!”

He stormed off and flung his red cloak about his left shoulder. Inside, I consoled the children before asking what they had done. With tear filled eye, and troubled frowns Zack spoke for the two of them.

“We didn’t know it was wrong. We just wanted everyone to be as happy as we were. Our teacher taught us to love one another, and we were telling others to love their enemies, and not to do evil like the magistrates.”

“Your teacher told you to say this?”

“No, not really. He told us, and we were filled with gladness. The words we spoke just seemed to spill out.”

“I’d better have a talk with your teacher. What is his name?”

“Jesus.” they replied. “His name is Jesus of Nazareth.”
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This article has been read 916 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lisa Holloway
06/08/07
Interesting story with a surprising ending. In terms of concept and approach, I think this one would have been a good entry for the "Teenager" category, but it's well written and insightful.
Jacquelyn Horne
06/09/07
This is a good story. I would have liked to have a clue early on that this was not a modern setting. It was a little confusing at the end. But it is still a very good child's story.
Pauline TAIT
06/09/07
How silly of me I guessd half way though who 'the teacher was' and I still cried at the end bless you,your writing is quite lovely
mick dawson
06/13/07
I cannot praise this enough. the way you opened the tale and the general delivery and the ending...brilliant, what else can I say.
the cardinal rule of american literature is to give away the plot and main characters early in the peace, but I strongly disagree with this concept.
your ending delivered both the main character and the seeting all in one piece. it had the effect of hitting me between the eyes like a sledge hammer, thus effectively making your point.
so please, keep doing what you're doing. you have the makings of not only being a good writer, but a great one.