The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/02/07
Very visual--I could see the whole thing unfolding.

Be careful of punctuation errors and run-on sentences--the quality of your writing will increase by several notches when those are edited.

Can't wait to read the continuation!
This story is vividly portrayed.
What an adventure. Watch out for spelling errors and run-on sentences. (Example: Is "paches of glass" supposed to be "patches of grass?") There is some good writing here. This clearly fit the adventure genre!