The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/09/07
Interesting, to be reading the POV of the early disciples.

The modern vernacular is a little bit disorienting when nothing else is updated. Not sure if you were going for an "updated" effect--if so, maybe the setting should be updated, also? Just a thought.

This is a good story for understanding the excitement of those early days with Jesus.
I noticed, too, that it seemed a little confusing. I don't think back then they would say "guys". Maybe so, but it doesn't seem to fit. A good thought. I immediately thought of a Sunday School "take home" paper for this story.